What a long... strange... trip... Armed and Dangerous II - the return of Scarlett

I am back. I am not awake, I am sleeptyping... but I am back. The Armoire Saga continues.

After having made a sizzling deal with a rental car company for a pick-up truck to haul the Armoire back to Denver in, I beg a dear friend, one Robert the Bruce, to come along and he agreed. God bless him and his clan forever. To call Friday afternoon chaotic would be an understatement. I get the sainted lady of South Jordan (Utah) to agree to meet me at the storage facility on her day off so that I can pick it up. Changed my plans, reserved the truck, got the friend, meeting the lady. I ran some imperative errands after work and dashed like mad to make it to the rental car company before they closed at 6. I arrived at 10 to six, yay me.

They search and search. No reservation. They call around to their other shops. Nothing.

It is 5:59 when I realize that I went to the wrong rental car company.

Ooops.

I dash out with an embarrassed smile and wave and get to the right one (Budget - shameless plug), at 6:02 but they are closed. Not a soul in sight. No surprise, I have the same uncanny ability to vaporize at closing time on Friday.

New plan.

I now have to leave Saturday morning. I will miss the family reunion. I will miss staying the night in Glenwood Springs with my dearest mermaid and her mermaid daughter at the cabins.

Saturday, bright and very early we are at Budget. 'That's so weird' the guy says. 'We're always here till about 6:15 on Fridays, we just got out early yesterday for some reason.' Of course they did. Have I mentioned that my life is a study in irony? It is. I am blood related to Murphy too... I think, but he was at the reunion and I wasn't.

We get the truck. It has 4 doors and a short bed. Good Lord I hope that armoire (which I only saw a small thumbnail photo of) fits in the truck.

We drive 500 miles (almost exactly) to the storage place, and Sainted Lady is there with Mr. Sainted. She has dragged her husband along to enlist his help in the loading of the beast. I say beast because she opened the door to the unit... and at the sight of all seven feet of it, I almost fell over in shock. And heat. It was 175 degrees.

The beautiful Beast. Note that it is almost as tall as the doorway behind it that is three steps up from the ground. It is inconceivably heavy.

Robert the Bruce looks at Mr. Sainted and they both sigh and start heaving and shoving the beast toward the truck. The bed is much too short. Tailgate down. I brought rope, thank the Lord. After much work and near death, the beast is loaded into the truck. Mrs. Sainted Lady looks at me and says (as we are standing amidst a museum of miscellaneous items in the storage unit)... 'do you want this Santa? I'll give him to you right now for ten bucks.' It is July and I am looking at a large Christmas decoration.

Santa is a mountain Santa. Furry fur coat, skis, snow shoes, canoe, the works. He's ready for winter in the Rockies. He's not little either. 3.5 feet. Yah whatever, I'm here, we'll put him in the truck.

I hug Sainted Lady in utter gratitude and we drive to the gate, where my Wonder Aunt, Worlds Best Uncle and Fun Cousins will meet us. We follow them 20 miles down the road to their home, they take us to a wonderful dinner at a secret hideaway and then make banana splits for us to enjoy on their back deck under the new chandelier.

Worlds Best Uncle made the chandelier, it is constructed of a ladder that Wonder Aunt used to climb on as a child, metal buckets, and those little hockey puck under cabinet lights. They have it hanging from the rafters of the covered deck with bailing wire... it is the best deck chandelier I have ever seen.

Wonder Aunt and Worlds Best Uncle are extremely talented at practically everything and they are quite clever. Robert the Bruce and I have begun to wonder if we shouldn't leave the beautiful beast Armoire to Worlds Best Uncle and Wonder Aunt because they are whizzes at refinishing, refurbishing, reupholstering... and everything, and they could probably make this beast Armoire look better than it ever did, and they'd thoroughly enjoy doing that. I discuss the idea with Worlds Best Uncle, he is shocked that I would not keep it... what am I going to do with it? I ask. I forgot that I even bid on it in the first place, and it will take a team of 20 pack mules and two oxen to haul the dang thing into my place anyway.

They agree to keep it. I have just rented a truck and dragged a friend 500 miles from home (one way) on an 8 hour drive, watched him and a sainted stranger hoist a 10,000 lb monster into the truck only to drive it 20 miles down the road and unload it. We will be going home without it. It's ok. I still have Santa.

We stay the night and in the morning after a lovely breakfast of cereal and fresh peaches off of the almond tree, Robert the Bruce and I head back to Denver with Santa. We drove through several small towns along the way and decided to stop in one to stare at everyone and eat ice cream. It seems that this is what the locals do, so we thought we'd check it out.



Smallville:

Hot dogs and ice cream anybody?

City hall

State Liquor Agency (on Main Street)

Ye Olde Theatre... currently playing Harry Potter

We leave smallville after this brief visit, and a couple of quick photos on an old rusted tractor. We are off again. We talk to my mermaid in Glenwood and she agrees a BBQ is in order. We stop at the cabins in the mountains on our way home to indulge in natures best and one of my dearest friends company, and we discover that this place is the ideal home for Santa. He fits in here like a hand in glove. And truth be known, looks like several of the local men.

While here, we see the longest enduring rainbow I have ever seen in my life... over 30 minutes. I plucked the largest dried up dandelion EVER ~ the kind with the little helicopters all over it that when blown into the wind will give you a wish... and gave it to the mermaids, along with the Santa, and after a nice relaxing visit there, we head back to Denver.

En Route we see an old fire truck from the Idyllwild Fire Dept. and I cannot resist keeping a photo of this!

We made it back safely, and very early in the morning. With only the rental truck keys in our hands, but with a fun, crazy, memorable and wonderful weekend in our back pockets. Everything wound up where it should have been.

My sincere thanks to:

Sainted Lady and Mr. Sainted

Robert the Bruce

World's Best Uncle and Wonder Aunt

Mermaids both

Budget rentals

With a promise not to be so silly for at least a little while...

Scarlett & Viaggiatore (who laughed all the way, and loved the friends and family)