For Love Or Money

This morning as I was getting ready for work, the dj's on the radio asked a controversial and interesting question.

Who should pay on a date? Without getting into too many specifics or politics on variations in the subject (i.e. same sex dating/short term and long term relationships/level of physical involvement in the relationship etc) because those things do play into this, but I'm only referring to the 'skim across the top of the subject' that was brought up this morning on the radio...
who should pay on a date?

Of course I had an immediate albeit well thought out opinion.  I am independent and strong and able to care for myself and others in many ways. Yay me. That does not mean that if a man were to try to woo me that I should not allow that pursuit with grace and enjoy being treated like the valuable lady that I am (the dj referenced a Goddess concept which I delighted in).

Allowing the man in pursuit to express his affections by treating does not detract from my independence at all; on the contrary, it reinforces the ideal that I am open minded enough to allow someone else the pleasure of offering a kind gesture. If I insist that we go dutch every time or that I pay every other time, that does disesteem the man who is interested in me by denying him the opportunity to show it in this way, if he chooses to.

I also agree that it’s good for the lady to treat on occasion as a means of reciprocating the affection and gesture he offers her.

On the flip side of this coin and the other side of the truth in the middle is this (because truth is always in the middle); while it is very nice to be treated by a beau, it is absolutely and inherently wrong to allow a man to try to buy the ladies affections.  There is a difference between the two and if the lady is unsure of that boundary then she should not be in the relationship.

Men have tried to buy my affections in inordinately extravagant ways and I flat out refuse to allow it at every instance; integrity must always be at the heart of the action, but I definitely support the custom of the man treating the woman as long as it does not compromise either of them. It is romantic, it is thoughtful and it is slightly in a chivalrous vein.

What do you think about it?

Happy Birthday Viaggiatore!

Viaggiatore is 4 years old today! Happy Birthday my beautiful muse! We've traveled so far; over the world, through days and weeks and years, made many friends and discoveries and had countless wonderful experiences.

I'd never trade a moment of it! I am so looking forward to all of our days to come; each one special and  precious.

Happy Birthday Viaggiatore!

From Viaggiatore~ The Lion of Lyon Tail, "...Viaggiatore was once a single thought... just one idea. Long ago, a good Samaritan selflessly saved the life of another human, with no thought for his own safety. The Lord was so pleased at this act of love, that he offered the Samaritan a wish... anything he wanted. The Samaritan said he wished only to continue to do good, everywhere he went, without ever knowing it. The Lord granted this wish, and then decided that it was such a good idea, it ought to be everywhere, for everyone.
He created Viaggiatore as a thought... it is him, in those moments of kindness when we do not know the good we do for others, he is a passing idea... a traveling thought that steps gently within us, and then moves on. As Viaggiatore passed throughout the world touching others, he walked away with remnants of each step touching him, and these remnants created a tangible body for him. The beauty of a world in unity incarnate in the skin of a lion. (Viaggiatore said) ".....I am made of the places that I have passed through, like any of us, it is the good and the bad that make me who I am and I cannot discard those things in my life that weren't good, any more than you can. It gives me character anyway, don't you think?"

*If you haven't yet met Viaggiatore (and you should, he's fascinating!) you can find out all about him here:

Viaggiatore~ The Lion of Lyon Tail
Viaggiatore~ Lion hide & Jungle Flight
Viaggiatore~ Sahara Sand & the Mediterranean Sea

Cuppa Joe

I pulled up to a shed that had been painted baby blue and renovated into a drive up coffee hut. A rubber hose that stretched out across the asphalt rang like a service station bell to alert the proprietor to my presence, when I drove over it. I looked at the brief and simple menu and then at the window.

A man of at least 150 years in age leaned his old weathered face out the window.
"YOU WANT SOME COFFEE?" he yelled across the two foot distance to me.

My biting satirical tongue was barred momentarily by my teeth which flashed a million dollar grin and I swallowed the smarty pants retort that rushed to spring from my lips before I ingested it... "No, Sir, I just pulled up to this drive up coffee shed to see if you could wash the windshield of my car and check the oil."  But I didn't say it.

"Yes, please, Sir!" I offered up to him as his window towered over my drivers side door.  Examining the menu, I thought I'd reserve my usual barista lingo coffee request and keep it simple for this elderly gentleman of the small country town persuasion. I was surprised to find a coffee shed there at all, let alone one which sold several beverage options in Italian (espresso, cappuccino...); it was encouraging, but I thought simple would be best.

"Could I please get a mochaccino, decaf?" I asked.

"A WHAT?!?!" he yelled at me, the deep lines on his old face transforming into bewilderment.

I realized, too late, that I had overestimated the culture curve bridging the short distance between us. I could simplify this again and put it into steps for him, in an effort to be helpful. 

"Could you please make a cappuccino?"

"YEAH."

"Do you have some sort of chocolate syrup that you could put into it, please?" ...voila, mochaccino.

"OH... YOU DON'T WANT A CAPPUCCINO. THERE'S NOTHING IN IT!" he hollered at me.

I was at a complete loss.

"I'm sorry?"

"YOU OUGHTTA GET A LATTE. DON'T YOU KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A CAPPUCCINO AND A LATTE?"

I was dumbstruck. I was trying my very best to fathom how this elderly gentleman could possibly be serious. I smiled in confusion and politeness and he took no notice; he just plowed right on.

"A CAPPUCCINO IS ALL FOAM. YOU DON'T WANT THAT. THERE'S ONLY HALF A CUP OF COFFEE. GET A LATTE, THEN YOU HAVE A WHOLE CUP OF COFFEE."

I stared at him incredulously. My two friends who were sitting in the car with me were in hysterics laughing at the situation.  I could only think that I didn't want to confound the old man any further, for that would invariably lead to more amazement on my part, and I'd had enough by this point.

"That's fine, Sir, please use decaf and please put some chocolate in it."

He left to start the coffee and I turned and stared at my friends who were still in fits of laughter. 

"HEY!" He yelled to me and I turned and looked up at him leaning out to me again.

"I DIDN'T MEAN TO BE A SMART ASS, I JUST WANTED TO MAKE SURE YOU KNEW THE DIFFERENCE!" he yelled. He handed me a large cup, I paid him and we drove off.

I tasted it; it was the worst cup of joe I have ever had the misfortune to lift to my lips. I looked at my friends and said, "I'm so sorry that I didn't go to Starbucks."  They continued to laugh at the whole debacle.

Since this encounter, I have made a new cardinal rule in the Holy Book of Scarlett's Cardinal Rules... 'If they don't know what it is, don't ask them to make it, and never buy coffee from an old man in a coffee shed in a small town. Ever.'

Passport Stamps ~ On The Lighter Side

"Yes, I'd like the Reality entree with the special Common Sense Sauce, a side of Snark, lightly grilled, the Wild Side Salad but please hold the Stupid Nuts, bring the Spice of Life dressing on the side and Chocolate Covered Dreams for dessert, please."
~ Wanderlust Scarlett