Love Is Not All

Love is not all: it is not meat nor drink
Nor slumber nor a roof against the rain;
Nor yet a floating spar to men that sink
And rise and sink and rise and sink again;
Love can not fill the thickened lung with breath,
Nor clean the blood, nor set the fractured bone;
Yet many a man is making friends with death
Even as I speak, for lack of love alone.
It well may be that in a difficult hour,
Pinned down by pain and moaning for release,
Or nagged by want past resolution's power,
I might be driven to sell your love for peace,
Or trade the memory of this night for food.
It well may be. I do not think I would.
-Edna St. Vincent Millay

Do you think if I read this continually that I might believe it someday?

Con Amore

Asleep, my love?

What, dead, my dove?

O Pyramus, arise!

Speak, speak. Quite dumb?

Dead, dead? A tomb

Must cover thy sweet eyes.

These lily lips,

This cherry nose,

These yellow cowslip cheeks

Are gone, are gone.

Lovers, make moan.

His eyes were green as leeks.

O Sisters three,

Come, come to me

With hands as pale as milk.

Lay them in gore,

Since you have shore

With shears his thread of silk.

Tongue, not a word.

Come, trusty sword.

Come, blade, my breast imbrue.

And, farewell, friends.

Thus Thisbe ends.

Adieu, adieu, adieu.

 

 

For Love Or Money

This morning as I was getting ready for work, the dj's on the radio asked a controversial and interesting question.

Who should pay on a date? Without getting into too many specifics or politics on variations in the subject (i.e. same sex dating/short term and long term relationships/level of physical involvement in the relationship etc) because those things do play into this, but I'm only referring to the 'skim across the top of the subject' that was brought up this morning on the radio...
who should pay on a date?

Of course I had an immediate albeit well thought out opinion.  I am independent and strong and able to care for myself and others in many ways. Yay me. That does not mean that if a man were to try to woo me that I should not allow that pursuit with grace and enjoy being treated like the valuable lady that I am (the dj referenced a Goddess concept which I delighted in).

Allowing the man in pursuit to express his affections by treating does not detract from my independence at all; on the contrary, it reinforces the ideal that I am open minded enough to allow someone else the pleasure of offering a kind gesture. If I insist that we go dutch every time or that I pay every other time, that does disesteem the man who is interested in me by denying him the opportunity to show it in this way, if he chooses to.

I also agree that it’s good for the lady to treat on occasion as a means of reciprocating the affection and gesture he offers her.

On the flip side of this coin and the other side of the truth in the middle is this (because truth is always in the middle); while it is very nice to be treated by a beau, it is absolutely and inherently wrong to allow a man to try to buy the ladies affections.  There is a difference between the two and if the lady is unsure of that boundary then she should not be in the relationship.

Men have tried to buy my affections in inordinately extravagant ways and I flat out refuse to allow it at every instance; integrity must always be at the heart of the action, but I definitely support the custom of the man treating the woman as long as it does not compromise either of them. It is romantic, it is thoughtful and it is slightly in a chivalrous vein.

What do you think about it?

Happy Birthday Viaggiatore!

Viaggiatore is 4 years old today! Happy Birthday my beautiful muse! We've traveled so far; over the world, through days and weeks and years, made many friends and discoveries and had countless wonderful experiences.

I'd never trade a moment of it! I am so looking forward to all of our days to come; each one special and  precious.

Happy Birthday Viaggiatore!

From Viaggiatore~ The Lion of Lyon Tail, "...Viaggiatore was once a single thought... just one idea. Long ago, a good Samaritan selflessly saved the life of another human, with no thought for his own safety. The Lord was so pleased at this act of love, that he offered the Samaritan a wish... anything he wanted. The Samaritan said he wished only to continue to do good, everywhere he went, without ever knowing it. The Lord granted this wish, and then decided that it was such a good idea, it ought to be everywhere, for everyone.
He created Viaggiatore as a thought... it is him, in those moments of kindness when we do not know the good we do for others, he is a passing idea... a traveling thought that steps gently within us, and then moves on. As Viaggiatore passed throughout the world touching others, he walked away with remnants of each step touching him, and these remnants created a tangible body for him. The beauty of a world in unity incarnate in the skin of a lion. (Viaggiatore said) ".....I am made of the places that I have passed through, like any of us, it is the good and the bad that make me who I am and I cannot discard those things in my life that weren't good, any more than you can. It gives me character anyway, don't you think?"

*If you haven't yet met Viaggiatore (and you should, he's fascinating!) you can find out all about him here:

Viaggiatore~ The Lion of Lyon Tail
Viaggiatore~ Lion hide & Jungle Flight
Viaggiatore~ Sahara Sand & the Mediterranean Sea

3.5 Minutes

In June, 2009 AirFrance Flight 447 fell out of the sky and crashed into the Atlantic Ocean.  France's Bureau of Investigation and Analysis has stated that it fell from 38,000 feet in three and a half minutes. That's 10,000 feet per minute.

A minute can be a long time.

60 seconds.

Watch a clock tick for 60 seconds and see how long it is.

I believe that in the experience of all of those people aboard that flight, that it was very likely the longest three and half minutes and simultaneously the shortest three and a half minutes of their lives. They had to have known... falling at 10,000 feet per minute. What were they thinking? What did they do?
Our truest colors show through in the most difficult times.

What would you think or do in that circumstance? If you were on that plane... if you knew that your life was about to end and there was nothing you could do to stop it. If you knew the lives of others around you were ending... what would you do? Three and a half minutes.

I believe, if there were a loved one sitting next to me, that I would hold them tightly and tell them how much I loved them. If I were seated by a stranger, I would hold their hand, if they wanted it. I would think prayers and thoughts of love to all those who mean the world to me. I would probably watch, as I would very likely be seated by the window, in hopes that somehow it would work out.  Disbelief. 

The truth is that we are all in that position, constantly, though undoubtedly not as tragically. The minutes of our lives are unknown, and they tick away incessantly. There may be mere moments left to us, 3 minutes or 3 billion minutes. Does it make it any less valuable if you have more of it? No. Are you making every minute count? Do your loved ones know how much they mean to you?

Would you leave it unsaid or undone?

Passport Stamps

"All love that has not friendship for its base is like a mansion built upon the sand." ~Ella Wheeler Wilcox

Sea Fever

I must go down to the seas again, to the lonely sea and the sky,
And all I ask is a tall ship and a star to steer her by,
And the wheel's kick and the wind's song and the white sail's shaking,
And a gray mist on the sea's face, and a gray dawn breaking.

I must go down to the seas again, for the call of the running tide
Is a wild call and a clear call that may not be denied;
And all I ask is a windy day with the white clouds flying,
And the flung spray and the blown spume, and the sea-gulls crying.

I must go down to the seas again, to the vagrant gypsy life,
To the gull's way and the whale's way, where the wind's like a whetted knife;
And all I ask is a merry yarn from a laughing fellow-rover,
And quiet sleep and a sweet dream when the long trick's over.

~John Masefield

Wordless Wednesday

Grains Of Sand

There were so many different grains of sand that fell this year. Each one very precious. Each one with significant purpose and meaning. I learned so much, this year, more than I have in a very long time. Listening affords one the opportunity to hear and then change, if one is open to that.

This was the year that seemed to ride on shifting sands all the way through... everything I thought would go one way, went another, so many plans were changed or let go of, and things I didn't expect presented themselves from seemingly nowhere.

Fine grains~

     There was forgiveness between people I love, and I forgave, and I was graciously forgiven.  It emphasized compassion, understanding, patience, devotion and love, and it strengthened bonds.

     There was discovery and adventure in small and huge ways, in new places and in old, hand in hand with friends, which only serves to enrich those kind of experiences even more.  These excursions included the procurement of a red satin fringed flapper dress, Tony Bennett, King Tut, incredible moments in Muir Woods, tigers & leopards, ocean waves, orca whales, beautiful cities, a champagne birthday on a beach before an ocean sunset, a random cow, tangible history in Westminster Abbey, new friends in London, old and new hidden treasured places along the Thames, midnight under Big Ben, a movie set & some incredible actors, dolphins in SF Bay (?!), the best breakfast cafe in SF, the best sushi in the world in V.BC, a girl and her horse make beautiful subjects before a lens, mountain lakes don't last for eternity, there are faerie glens in woods & secret mountain places, I went halfway up the Eiffel Tower... again, the umbrella salesman has a stand at the end of the rainy road, I already met the only accordion player who knows La Vie En Rose and he's not in Vegas, art comes in every form and when it's water, it's beautiful, there's no rush or thrill like standing on a stage in a theatre singing your heart out to strangers, and it is equally thrilling to see dear friends do the same.

    

Medium grains-

     Friendships mean different things to different people and when they are lost, it isn't always a bad thing.  In the face of lost friendships, the loyalty and devotion of good friends is truly shown for its priceless worth. 

     When times are very difficult, in loss, in fright, in pain, in anger, in confusion, there isn't anything so good or precious as the warm steady strength of a friends hand or loving arms to make it through the darkness.

     We have control over our environments, most of the time, and we have absolute control over how we choose to react to our environments and our experiences.  I quote Viktor Frankl, a holocaust survivor, “...The last of human freedoms – the ability to choose one’s attitude in a given set of circumstances.” as he explains how he made it through his unthinkable ordeal.  I repeated lessons in learning to adapt and grow in different environments... learning to make choices that would benefit others as well as myself.

     Humbleness is found in honesty with self and when spoken with love by others, and it is the essential nutrient a soul needs to grow strong and upright. 

     Allowing shame and guilt to dictate behavior and thought is an unnecessary self-inflicted binding that hinders recovery and growth and should be left alone entirely.

Coarse grains- 

     One of the biggest lessons of the year, and one I am still working through, is that love is all encompassing... real love knows no bounds, it is not ruled by organization... by trying to force it into categories and definitive segments... compartmentalized until it is nicely and neatly controlled. It is fluid, powerful, endless, as the oceans I love so much. Learning how to love like that is a work in progress for me.  It is astounding what I've held back from others because I did not understand the way that love is.  I raged against the wall only to discover that I'd built the dam with my own two hands, all by myself.  There's a confounding revelation.

      Another lesson is learning to deal with everything as it comes, instead of pretending it does not exist, as has been my modus operandi for a long while.  This behavior has excluded me from the very world at large... known, unknown, wanted, unwanted, and I've missed more than I could ever express. I have a passion for life that is boundless within certain bounds.  That paradox cuts off so much possibility. I want boundless passion for life... period. I don't want to miss anything. Ever.      

    

I hope that this year has found you well and successful in every way. Healthy, strong, and happy. I hope you've realized dreams and goals, and I hope you have new ones shining in the distance of days to come.

Happy New Year

Love Embattled

"It would degrade me to marry Heathcliff now; so he shall never know how I love him: and that, not because he's handsome, Nelly, but because he's more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same..."

"...He's always, always in my mind: not as a pleasure, any more than I am always a pleasure to myself, but as my own being."

"He wanted all to lie in an ecstasy of peace; I wanted all to sparkle and dance in a glorious jubilee. I said his heaven would be only half alive; and he said mine would be drunk: I said I should fall asleep in his; and he said he could not breathe in mine..."

"He'll never let his friends be at ease, and he'll never be at ease himself!"

- Emily Bronte, Wuthering Heights

Is there nothing as tragic and beautiful as deeply passionate love that exists but cannot be given a breath of life? I find myself wandering through the mists of Wuthering Heights from time to time; aching for the dark, brooding, melancholy Heathcliff and the only light in his life, his strong and determined Cathy.  

It is nearly unbearable to love someone so much that you cannot have; as though they were the very air that brings life and without it there is no life worth living. Is there passion like this in life? Is there love that cannot be measured, cannot be lost or changed; even by death? I must believe that there is. I must believe that every level of love leads to a pinnacle as poignant and eternal as this... as deep and strong and timeless as this... for there is no denying what our souls know, and mine knows that this is true.

Beautiful

Something very beautiful, to make up for the last post.

A Denial

A Denial

We have met late-it is too late to meet,
   O friend, not more than friend!
Death's forecome shroud is tangled round my feet,
And if I step or stir, I touch the end.
   In this last jeopardy
Can I approach thee, I, who cannot move?
How shall I answer thy request for love?
   Look in my face and see.

I love thee not, I dare not love thee! go
   In silence; drop my hand.
If thou seek roses, seek them where they blow
In garden-alleys, not in desert-sand.
   Can life and death agree,
That thou shouldst stoop thy song to my complaint?
I cannot love thee. If the word is faint,
   Look in my face and see.

I might have loved thee in some former days.
   Oh, then, my spirits had leapt
As now they sink, at hearing thy love-praise!
Before these faded cheeks were overwept,
   Had this been asked of me,
To love thee with my whole strong heart and head,
I should have said still . . . yes, but smiled and said,
   "Look in my face and see!"

But now . . . God sees me, God, who took my heart
   And drowned it in life's surge.
In all your wide warm earth I have no part
A light song overcomes me like a dirge.
   Could Love's great harmony
The saints keep step to when their bonds are loose,
Not weigh me down? Am I a wife to choose?
   Look in my face and see.

While I behold, as plain as one who dreams,
   Some woman of full worth,
Whose voice, as cadenced as a silver stream's,
Shall prove the fountain-soul which sends it forth;
   One younger, more thought-free
And fair and gay, than I, thou must forget,
With brighter eyes than these . . . which are not wet . . .
   Look in my face and see!

So farewell thou, whom I have known too late
   To let thee come so near.
Be counted happy while men call thee great,
And one belovèd woman feels thee dear!
   Not I! That cannot be.
I am lost, I am changed, I must go farther, where
The change shall take me worse, and no one dare
   Look in my face and see.

Meantime I bless thee. By these thoughts of mine
   I bless thee from all such!
I bless thy lamp to oil, thy cup to wine,
Thy hearth to joy, thy hand to an equal touch
   Of loyal troth. For me,
I love thee not, I love thee not! Away!
Here's no more courage in my soul to say
   "Look in my face and see."

~Elizabeth Barrett Browning

My Heart And I

MY HEART AND I

Enough! we're tired, my heart and I.
We sit beside the headstone thus,
And wish that name were carved for us.
The moss reprints more tenderly
The hard types of the mason's knife,
As Heaven's sweet life renews earth's life
With which we're tired, my heart and I.

You see we're tired, my heart and I.
We dealt with books, we trusted men,
And in our own blood drenched the pen,
As if such colors could not fly.
We walked too straight for fortune's end,
We loved too true to keep a friend;
At last we're tired, my heart and I.

How tired we feel, my heart and I
We seem of no use in the world;
Our fancies hang gray and uncurled
About men's eyes indifferently;
Our voice which thrilled you so, will let
You sleep; our tears are only wet:
What do we here, my heart and I?

So tired, so tired, my heart and I!
It was not thus in that old time
When Ralph sat with me 'neath the lime
To watch the sunset from the sky.
"Dear love, you're looking tired," he said:
I, smiling at him, shook my head.
'Tis now we're tired, my heart and I.

So tired, so tired, my heart and I!
Though now none takes me on his arm
To fold me close and kiss me warm
Till each quick breath end in a sigh
Of happy languor.  Now, alone,
We lean upon this graveyard stone,
Uncheered, unkissed, my heart and I.

Tired out we are, my heart and I.
Suppose the world brought diadems
To tempt us, crusted with loose gems
Of powers and pleasures?  Let it try.
We scarcely care to look at even
A pretty child, or God's blue heaven,
We feel so tired, my heart and I.

Yet who complains?  My heart and I?
In this abundant earth no doubt
Is little room for things worn out:
Disdain them, break them, throw them by!
And if before the days grew rough
We once were loved, used, - well enough,
I think, we've fared, my heart and I.

~Elizabeth Barrett Browing

A Farewell To A Friend~

We've seen and done so much,  you and I, haven't we?
Been through highs and lows together,
Sailed & flown through days & months & years, together.
We've laughed and cried, loved and fought,
You and I have watched so much time pass;
More than can be measured.

There is a bend in our road that you cannot see,
A change in the cadence of our walk.
There is a road that I must take alone, dear one,
And though I am letting go of your hand, know that I will
Always hold you in my heart.
I know there will be a day when this road brings me back
To you
I will hold your hand to my cheek & embrace you so tightly.

But until then,
I have promises to keep; promises made to people
I love
And I must keep my word.
So farewell, for a time, sweet friend.
May wings of Angels encircle you,
And keep you with my love,
Until I can return.

Thanks to Radeka Photography for the image

In Peace

With enormous love, little Peanut

Let's Do It ~ Let's Fall In Love!

Birds do it, bees do it

Even educated fleas do it

Let's do it, let's fall in love

In Spain, the best upper sets do it

Lithuanians and Letts do it

Let's do it, let's fall in love

 

The Dutch in old Amsterdam do it

Not to mention the Fins

Folks in Siam do it - think of Siamese twins

Some Argentines, without means, do it

People say in Boston even beans do it

Let's do it, let's fall in love

Romantic sponges, they say, do it

Oysters down in oyster bay do it

Let's do it, let's fall in love

Cold Cape Cod clams,
'gainst their wish, do it

Even lazy jellyfish, do it

Let's do it, let's fall in love

The Dragonflies in the reeds do it

Sentimental centipedes do it

Let's do it, let's fall in love

Mosquitos, heaven forbid, do it

So does every katydid do it

Let's do it, let's fall in love

The most refined lady bugs do it,

When a gentleman calls

Moths in your rugs do it

What's the use of moth balls? 

Electric eels I might add do it

Though it shocks em I know

Why ask if shad do it - Waiter bring me "shad roe"

  

In shallow shoals English soles do it

Goldfish in the privacy of bowls do it

Let's do it, let's fall in love

In old Japan, all the Japs do it

Up in Lapland little Laps do it

Let's do it, let's fall in love

The chimpanzees in zoos do it

Some courageous kangaroos do it

Let's do it, let's fall in love

I'm sure giraffes on the sly do it

Even eagles as they fly do it

Let's do it, let's fall in love

The world admits

bears in pits do it

Even Pekingeses at the Ritz do it 

Let's do it, let's fall in love

Let's do it, let's fall in love!

Let's do it... Let's fall in love!

Wordless Wednesday

All For Love

For you, with love, on this Valentines Day ~ XO

"Have you never met a woman who inspires you to love? Until your every sense is filled with her? You inhale her. You taste her. You see your unborn children in her eyes and know that your heart has at last found a home. Your life begins with her, and without her it must surely end."

"There are only four questions of value in life. What is sacred? Of what is the spirit made of? What is worth living for? What is worth dying for? The answer to each is the same. Only love."

~ Don Juan DeMarco

"I have crossed oceans of time to find you." ~ Dracula


"Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind; And therefore is winged Cupid painted blind." ~ A Midsummer Night's Dream


"If I profane with my unworthiest hand This holy shrine, the gentle fine is this: My lips, two blushing pilgrims, ready stand To smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss."
"Did my heart love till now? Forswear it, sight! For I ne'er saw true beauty till this night!"
~ Romeo And Juliet

How did it happen that their lips came together? How does it happen that birds sing, that snow melts, that the rose unfolds, that the dawn whitens behind the stark shapes of trees on the quivering summit of the hill? A kiss, and all was said. ~Victor Hugo

"I want to crawl to her feet, whimper to be forgiven, for loving her, for needing her more than my own life, for belonging to her more than my own soul."

"If he loved you with all the power of his soul for a whole lifetime, he couldn't love you as much as I do in a single day."

"...he's more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same."

"If you ever looked at me once with what I know is in you, I would be your slave."
"Be with me always. Take any form, drive me mad, only do not leave me in this dark alone where I cannot find you." ~ Wuthering Heights

I can no longer think of anything but you. In spite of myself, my imagination carries me to you. I grasp you, I kiss you, I caress you, a thousand of the most amorous caresses take possession of me. ~Honore de Balzac

"I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my soul can reach." ~Elizabeth Barrett Browning

"I will have poetry in my life. And adventure. And love. Love above all. No...not the artful postures of love, not playful and poetical games of love for the amusement of an evening. but love that...overthrows life. Unbiddable, ungovernable, like a riot in the heart, and nothing to be done, come ruin or rapture." ~ Shakespeare In Love

"He felt now that he was not simply close to her, but that he did not know where he ended and she began." ~Leo Tolstoy

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

...and for Jack, whomever and wherever you might be, I am waiting:

"The man of my dreams has almost faded now. The one I have created in my mind. The sort of man each woman dreams of in the deepest and most secret reaches of her heart. I can almost see him now before me. What would I say to him, if he were really here? Forgive me, I have never known this feeling. I've lived without it all my life. Is it any wonder, then, that I fail to recognize you? You-- who brought it to me for the first time. Is there any way I can tell you how my life has changed? Any way at all to let you know what sweetness you have given me? There is so much to say...I cannot find the words. Except for these-- I love you! Such would I say to him, if he were really here." ~Elise, Somewhere In Time