For Love Or Money

This morning as I was getting ready for work, the dj's on the radio asked a controversial and interesting question.

Who should pay on a date? Without getting into too many specifics or politics on variations in the subject (i.e. same sex dating/short term and long term relationships/level of physical involvement in the relationship etc) because those things do play into this, but I'm only referring to the 'skim across the top of the subject' that was brought up this morning on the radio...
who should pay on a date?

Of course I had an immediate albeit well thought out opinion.  I am independent and strong and able to care for myself and others in many ways. Yay me. That does not mean that if a man were to try to woo me that I should not allow that pursuit with grace and enjoy being treated like the valuable lady that I am (the dj referenced a Goddess concept which I delighted in).

Allowing the man in pursuit to express his affections by treating does not detract from my independence at all; on the contrary, it reinforces the ideal that I am open minded enough to allow someone else the pleasure of offering a kind gesture. If I insist that we go dutch every time or that I pay every other time, that does disesteem the man who is interested in me by denying him the opportunity to show it in this way, if he chooses to.

I also agree that it’s good for the lady to treat on occasion as a means of reciprocating the affection and gesture he offers her.

On the flip side of this coin and the other side of the truth in the middle is this (because truth is always in the middle); while it is very nice to be treated by a beau, it is absolutely and inherently wrong to allow a man to try to buy the ladies affections.  There is a difference between the two and if the lady is unsure of that boundary then she should not be in the relationship.

Men have tried to buy my affections in inordinately extravagant ways and I flat out refuse to allow it at every instance; integrity must always be at the heart of the action, but I definitely support the custom of the man treating the woman as long as it does not compromise either of them. It is romantic, it is thoughtful and it is slightly in a chivalrous vein.

What do you think about it?

Wonder Women

"Human beings the world over need freedom and security that they may be able to realize their full potential. We want to empower our people; we want to strengthen them; we want to provide them with the kind of qualifications that will enable them to build up their own country themselves." ~Aung San Suu Kyi

"There was one of two things I had a right to, liberty or death; if I could not have one, I would have the other." ~Harriet Tubman

"Carry out a random act of kindness, with no expectation of reward, safe in the knowledge that one day someone might do the same for you."

"They say it is better to be poor and happy than rich and miserable, but how about a compromise like moderately rich and just moody?"

"People think that at the end of the day a man is the only answer. Actually, a fulfilling job is better for me." ~Princess Diana
 

“All our problems, all our disputes, all our disagreements can be resolved quickly to mutual satisfaction if we address the question”  "You can imprison a man, but not an idea. You can exile a man, but not an idea. You can kill a man, but not an idea." ~Benazir Bhutto

Then that little man in black there, he says women can't have as much rights as men, 'cause Christ wasn't a woman! Where did your Christ come from? Where did Christ come from? From God and a woman! Man had nothing to do with Him. If the first woman God ever made was strong enough to turn the world upside down all alone, these women together ought to be able to turn it back, and get it right side up again! ~Sojourner Truth

 

There are countless women to honor on this 100th anniversary of International Women's Day, Women from every country, every culture, every imaginable background, who used their lives to make a significant difference not only in the lives of other women in their own days, but in the lives of all people in the time that followed them. I've selected a few to represent the masses who changed the world.  Thank you! For the young women just growing up today, and for those to come in years ahead, you have a mantle to carry, lifted with strength and dignity by the ladies who came before you, bear it well.

Ladies Choice ~ A Womans Right To Vote In America

Eighty-eight years ago, after long angry battles that raged, arrests, tortured incarcerations, marches, picket lines and a war for equality that drew blood and the attention of the nation, women finally won the right to vote.


HBO created a movie about the women who fought so tirelessly so that all the generations of women after them could have a voice... could live in a society of equality... it's a tough movie to watch, to realize what was sacrificed so that women could step behind the curtain and exercise their choice... their right to vote, to change the nation and the future of our country. I absolutely recommend this Hilary Swank gem: Iron Jawed Angels

Susan B. Anthony and Elizabeth Cady Stanton
Both of these ladies worked incessantly to get the vote, and both passed away before their dreams were realized.


~Alice Paul~


Lucretia Mott



~Lucy Burns~




“Well, children, where there is so much racket there must be something out of kilter. I think that 'twixt the Negroes of the South and the women at the North, all talking about rights, the white men will be in a fix pretty soon. But what's all this here talking about?

That man over there says that women need to be helped into carriages, and lifted over ditches, and to have the best place everywhere. Nobody ever helps me into carriages, or over mud-puddles, or gives me any best place! And ain't I a woman? Look at me! Look at my arm! I have ploughed and planted, and gathered into barns, and no man could head me! And ain't I a woman? I could work as much and eat as much as a man - when I could get it - and bear the lash as well! And ain't I a woman? I have borne thirteen children, and seen most all sold off to slavery, and when I cried out with my mother's grief, none but Jesus heard me! And ain't I a woman?

Then they talk about this thing in the head; what's this they call it? [member of audience whispers, "intellect"] That's it, honey. What's that got to do with women's rights or Negroes' rights? If my cup won't hold but a pint, and yours holds a quart, wouldn't you be mean not to let me have my little half measure full?

Then that little man in black there, he says women can't have as much rights as men, 'cause Christ wasn't a woman! Where did your Christ come from? Where did Christ come from? From God and a woman! Man had nothing to do with Him.

If the first woman God ever made was strong enough to turn the world upside down all alone, these women together ought to be able to turn it back, and get it right side up again! And now they is asking to do it. The men better let them.

Obliged to you for hearing me, and now old Sojourner ain't got nothing more to say.”

--Sojourner Truth


Whether you vote Democrat, Republican or Independent...
GET OUT AND VOTE
The right to do so was not given freely, it was hard fought and hard won by the blood and tears of our foremothers.
Make their sacrifices and dreams count.

Properly Incensed

I am completely incensed.

Perhaps it is my independent, strong, proud nature.

I don't like labels to begin with, but I realize that for certain purposes they simplify organization.
Categories.
Who are you?
What do you do?
Why are you here?
Where are you from?
When did you come here?

I was reviewing work that had been done by someone else today.
An application.
It is the habit of this particular person to rank people in her esteem according to her opinion of their worth, and typically, old rich white men (and occasionally old rich white women) are worthy to be revered in her lofty perspective. It is seldom that anyone else rises above that sharp angle at the edge of the nose that she looks down.

I see it as a serious injustice and a shortcoming of her personality. I have my own shortcomings; I don't say anything. Often.

Today, however... it bothered me enough to blog about it.
I must vent, I beg your indulgence.

In reviewing the application, I saw that she'd noted the man's occupation neatly and put him first as she always does. Fine. It could be done the other way but I think this hasn't occurred to her. Fine.
I then discovered that she had entered the ladies occupation as HWF.

*****STEAM*****

THAT is short for Housewife.

Deep sigh.

Perhaps she has not noticed that I have corrected ALL of her previous entries of housewife to those of HOMEMAKER. Yes, I am politically correct in this ilk.

We are not in the 50's.

I think at the very least, a modicum of dignity and respect ought to be afforded to those women who choose not to enter the workforce; those who have the daunting task of running a household in the new millennium, something which is no small task and which- if it were a paid position- would net the woman OR MAN (note Homemaker is not gender specified) about six figures a year, currently.

It is without a shred of doubt, a position that commands respect and dignity.

The women who fought and died for equality and recognition at the turn of the last century, did not do so with the vision that women in the coming century could have the freedom to be indifferent to their sacrifices!!!



I cringe and shudder at the thought.

Elizabeth Cady Stanton and Sojourner Truth would be infuriated, not incensed, at the complacency of some women today.
We are the granddaughters of warriors of justice, integrity, dignity and HONOR.
We are absolutely NOT of a lesser value or worth than our male counterparts.

I certainly hope that each person who reads this remembers what was sacrificed willingly by our foremothers... so that WE could be granted the equality that should never have been a question.

God Bless the Homemakers.

Scarlett & Viaggiatore

The song has not remained the same....

I am appalled. I am also disgusted and angered, hence this blog. CNN.com has posted an article regarding overweight or less than glamorous singers. It is titled, "If you're a female singer, you'd better be sexy". It discusses the latest trend in the world of music for an up and coming artist. If you want to be a star... you must look the part or you'll get nowhere.


This is an outrage. I realize that sex sells. Unfortunately. But there is more to a song than the cover girl singing it. I have recently posted a blog about the sexual objectification of women that could only be termed a diatribe on this subject. Music producers are no longer marketing talent. They are no longer unveiling the hidden gifts of unknown wonders whose work often changes the face of music. Rather, they are changing the faces of those who make the music.


Oftentimes it isn't even really music that's made... it's computerized garbage. Put a hot sexy chick on the stage in shocking and revealing attire, hand her a microphone and turn the computers on. This is music now. And you can't play if you don't look like a Bratz doll or a Barbie.


Many of the performers today are hugely lacking in talent, morals and worse than this... common sense. Need I mention (with a disgusted groan) Britney Spears or Jessica Simpson. I also hate that most of 'their' songs are not written by them and are mostly about sex. Get over it already. Sing about something other than how hot you are, or how you could turn his world inside out if he sleeps with you. You're worth more than that. I think. I may be wrong about that with the two names mentioned above.


But I digress. Music means so much to us because it defines those moments in our lives that are significant (quick... song from your first dance, song that was yours/your first loves, song that you played a hundred times and you still aren't sick of it, song that you got married to, song you sing to your kids/mom sang to you... ) and the list goes on. Music is the voice of our souls... of our lives. It reaches into our hearts and clarifies that which we do not understand, or sometimes expresses those sentiments or thoughts that we cannot get across, or that we want to revel in. I love many kinds of music. But none of it is the computer generated trash being sold to me by a tawdry tramp who doesn't have the capability to draw an audience unless she is flaunting all of her goods to them.


No thank you. So Shakira's hips don't lie... I could care less what her hips are doing, and I was sick of the song the first time I heard it. Do I gather from the song or her lackluster video that she's got talent? That she is conveying emotion? (Stay with me here guys, I'm not talking about physical urges... I'm talking about emotion... two feet higher... ) What about respect? How is any of that supposed to play in when music is being mass marketed to hormones instead of hearts and minds?


The promotional fools and music hustlers... excuse me, producers, who try to make us believe that this is what we want, what is hot, and what is good... are all waaaaaaaaaaaaaay off in the dark corner of left field. It's a quick buck. A flash in the pan.


That is not what makes a legend, nor is it what legends are each made of. It takes so much more than that. Want to know what a real legend is? Want to know what real talent is? Check this out...

Real Legends:

Miss Aretha Franklin

photo courtesy of Palacetheatrect.org

Miss Ella Fitzgerald

photo courtesy of msnbcmedia.msn.com


Miss Judy Garland

















photo courtesy of musicals101.com


Miss Patsy Cline















photo courtesy of heavens-gates.com


Miss Barbara Streisand















photo courtesy of facade.com


Miss Bette Midler









photo courtesy of mtv.com
The following site has an important message from Miss Midler about the tragedies going on in Darfur right now, and as I feel very strongly about the horrors happening there, I would ask that you visit the site and support the efforts to stop those waking nightmares.


Back to it...


The women shown are legends. Real, talented, amazing legends who have changed music history with their work... and some of them have gone beyond the music arena to display incredible talents in other works. They did not allow themselves to be portrayed as worthless sex objects only to be forgotten when the next hot chick stepped up to the stage.


The women shown have not cheapened themselves to further their careers... they have not been a poor role model for all the young girls idolizing them and aspiring to be like them someday. Do you want your daughter looking up at the TV with adoring eyes that are focused solely on Ashlee Simpson and sighing reverently... "I want to be just like her when I grow up!"


Don't get me wrong, beauty is great. Most everyone likes beauty. But it does NOT define a person, nor does it determine the greatness of their talent, or the future of their success. Beauty does not equal quality by a long shot. Not by a long Nevada highway mile. Neither does age... one of the most stunning talents of our time is little Holly Stell... you might remember her having sung a duet with Andrea Bocelli.


I say to those producers who believe that normal looking young talent won't make it because they don't fit into your perfect little molds of silicone and botox... get a clue. You want to produce a legend? Look deep. Look further down than skin deep. Make a difference in the history of music. Take the likes of Melinda Doolittle and LaKisha Jones and change the way we look at the world.


Scarlett