Love Is Not All

Love is not all: it is not meat nor drink
Nor slumber nor a roof against the rain;
Nor yet a floating spar to men that sink
And rise and sink and rise and sink again;
Love can not fill the thickened lung with breath,
Nor clean the blood, nor set the fractured bone;
Yet many a man is making friends with death
Even as I speak, for lack of love alone.
It well may be that in a difficult hour,
Pinned down by pain and moaning for release,
Or nagged by want past resolution's power,
I might be driven to sell your love for peace,
Or trade the memory of this night for food.
It well may be. I do not think I would.
-Edna St. Vincent Millay

Do you think if I read this continually that I might believe it someday?

Dear Daydream,

Dear Daydream,

They are hiring for a photographer and photo editor at a baby and mom business called Zulily - which I just love, based in Seattle. So, today I quit my job and hopped on a plane and flew to Seattle. Zulily hired me on the spot at twice the salary I was making before. I found a wonderful little apartment facing the bay, just a block from Pikes public market where I can go every day to buy an armload of fresh flowers, Starbucks coffee from the original Starbucks while seeing the street musicians outside and enjoy lunch at that little Irish pub that's tucked in the alley or that cozy seafood restaurant hidden in the market that looks over the water.  I can visit all the fun shops in the area and zip around on the train, go to practice for Wyld Stallyns, play outdoor chess and stand atop the highest needle in the world.
My new coworkers are amazing people who inspire me and are incredible to be around. My photography has never been better and things are simple and good. Having the ocean at my doorstep and the mountains right behind me in my back pocket does wonders for my soul...

....love, the Serendipitous Daydreamer

Keep It Simple Scarlett

~K.I.S.S.~

To say that I have a busy, chaotic life is a monumental understatement. For a long time I've lived under the misconception that if there is a free moment, it should be filled with something that needs to be done. There is always something that needs to be done. Sisyphean tasks... always more to do... never done...

I am solely responsible for the life I make for myself; when did I ordain that I emulate Sisyphus? The things that spill over the edges of my time are not great steps to completing a magnum opus, they are like sea shells... lovely on the outside, hollow on the inside, save for the echo of something greater that isn't there.  Each duty a puzzle piece that builds the image of my life, filling moments with an immutable story that can never be unwritten, undone or remade.

There is no resource as precious and priceless as time. Not in the whole universe.

I procrastinate... and I've said that one of these days I shall stop procrastinating. I always carry my planner with me and I pencil in chaos until even a glance at the month I've made is overwhelming. Busy does not equal productive. Work smarter not harder.

Scheduling balance into life is a gamble at best... I allow so many things to come up and change the direction of the ever flowing river of time I navigate. Balance is imperative for stability, growth, strength and peace.

Peace isn't something to be scheduled into a day after the gym and before work.  We carry it within us, in every moment, in every place.

I decided to downsize. I decided to make a change to live simply. Less clutter everywhere in my life, my home, my work, my schedule; everywhere in every aspect. I began to eliminate at every juncture.
Then one of my friends moved and gave me half of the contents of her house. I have a lot of stuff. You want stuff? I got stuff. What I will not use now will be donated to those who need it far more than I. The Sisyphean task of elimination has begun again; only this time, that boulder will be resting at the top of the hill and I will walk off the mountain. Here's a great piece on what I mean by downsizing and amen to Zen.

There is a way to find peace and organization and simplicity and focus by creating it in our lives. Our hectic, noisy, chaotic, non-stop, stress filled, busy, runaway train lives.

I'll let you in on a little secret... shhh... listen...
~you really are in charge of everything in your life~.

If you don't like it, change it.

There are roughly 4 billion bits of information being processed by our brains every single second. That is a LOT of information. It does not help that we have so much more coming into us constantly (i.e. the endless stimulants to our senses that are an inherent foundation of our culture such as tv/radio/media/ads/phones/computers/entertainment/
noise/lights/all the amenities of our lives that are supposed to make our existence easier but somehow just fill up more space and time and leave us with a deficit of  enrichment).

Consider:

Environment ~ start with environment. A seed cannot grow in poor soil. If your environment isn't conducive to nurturing healthy growth, then repot yourself. Old soil doesn't have the nutrients we need to grow stronger, either, but instead leads our experience to stagnancy and inhibition.

Circumstance ~ we have basic needs to meet and the labor we trade for providing for those needs does require some of our time, but not all of it. Two things that matter here are; first, is the labor we are trading worthy of the recompense we receive? Are you happy in your work? Is it fulfilling? Will you look back at the days you've spent toiling and believe that each one was worth what you accomplished at the end? Second... all of the time that isn't given to supporting your lifestyle is yours to make what you will of it... what do you make a priority of in that time? What is it given to? Are those things something worth giving your time to? If you do not have enough time for the things you want, then change your life to make those things happen. Each second of our lives burns away so quickly, until they are gone. Make them count. Make them all count.
They don't all have to be big moments, but they should all count. Let go of the ones that clutter your precious time, the things that would continue on without you, the Sisyphean tasks that will subtly devour your life if you let them.

Opportunity ~ It has been said that the harder one works, the luckier one gets. I said above that it's a better use of time to work smarter not harder, but sometimes working smart is hard work, too. The more you go after, the more opportunity will favor you; this I know to be true in my own life. Many times people have asked me how it is that so many wonderful experiences have found their way into my life... the answer is easy. I go after them. I ask for and work for the opportunities in my life, and the rewards are that I am able to experience living outside the box. I take risks and chances. I dream big. I don't give up unless I know for certain that my endeavor isn't truly within my realistic grasp. There is always a way... like water that runs against a rock until it finds a way through, opportunity will come if it is sought. It is a rare visitor if one sits idly by and waits for it to come of its own accord.


In short... your life is what you make it. Make it truly good.

Sea Fever

I must go down to the seas again, to the lonely sea and the sky,
And all I ask is a tall ship and a star to steer her by,
And the wheel's kick and the wind's song and the white sail's shaking,
And a gray mist on the sea's face, and a gray dawn breaking.

I must go down to the seas again, for the call of the running tide
Is a wild call and a clear call that may not be denied;
And all I ask is a windy day with the white clouds flying,
And the flung spray and the blown spume, and the sea-gulls crying.

I must go down to the seas again, to the vagrant gypsy life,
To the gull's way and the whale's way, where the wind's like a whetted knife;
And all I ask is a merry yarn from a laughing fellow-rover,
And quiet sleep and a sweet dream when the long trick's over.

~John Masefield

Dreams In The Deep

Federico Fellini (a man with a brilliant mind, in my opinion), said... “You exist only in what you do.”

I thought about that this week... especially this week, having just come away from Martin Luther King Jr. Day (MLK is my most loved hero). I always steep my heart and mind in unfathomable depths of philosophy, integrity, morality, goals, dreams, love and values of character during this week more than many others in the year.  It is my own personal mental and spiritual epiphany; thank you kindly for your indulgence!

So... Federico...

"You exist only in what you do."

At first glance, I thought... why yes! Yes, of course that's true. I smiled at his thought. Then I thought of Martin.  One of the most incredible things about Dr.King was that he not only existed prominently in what he did... but he most assuredly existed, famously even, in what he did not do.  Non violence.  Not accepting the world as it was, but working peacefully to change it into what it ought to be; the better place that it could be.

Then I realized that both ideas are correct.  Really, it's a glass half full or half empty sort of thing.  In effect, when an action is not taken, it could be viewed as action by inaction... could it not?

My mind goes to a dear friend of mine who is oftimes quiet and thoughtful in most circumstances, taking everything in silently, processing, and only occasionally offering a response.  I have seen so many people attempt to affect this friend's opinion, thought and action, by means of sugar & honey, by salty tears & heartfelt pleading, by anger & rage, and by so many countless other means that very rarely bring an end to their solicitor. Nearly always, these trials effect not much more than a nod at best, and when it truly matters, there is no reaction left ungiven, but more often than not... most of the waves that sweep in to that shore are left to retract back out to sea without so much as a whisper. 

This inaction is another example of existing in what is not done... which is the same, I think, as existing in what is done, from another point of view. 

...and you? What do you think?

Wordless Wednesday

Nobel Peace Price

Our most sincere and delighted congratulations to

Liu Xiaobo for winning the Nobel Peace Prize this year!

Our most sincere and heartsick sorrow to Liu Xiaobo that the Chinese government has charged him with 'inciting subversion' and imprisoned him for 11 years. This stems from his work to change China's communist ideals.

The price of freedom is high, but there is nothing that those who want it won't sacrifice to get it; history has shown us this time and time again.

The Chinese government has called Xiaobo's Nobel win "an attack on its political and legal system" and a "political farce", as they view the (massive world wide) support of Xiaobo in an extremely negative light. His wife, Liu Xia has been under house arrest since the Nobel committee announced Xiaobo's win.  No one will be allowed to accept his prize for him, unfortunately. 

The Nobel committee will honor this imprisoned hero by representing him with an empty chair at the presentation of the awards.  He may not be there to accept it physically, but his absence will make him more powerfully present than anyone else who is there.  It will speak volumes to the world, and hopefully, to the leaders of China.    

Chinese foreign ministry spokeswoman Jiang Yu said,

"The Nobel committee has to admit they are in the minority, the Chinese people and the overwhelming majority of people in the world are against this.  The decision of the Norwegian Nobel Committee does not represent the wish of the majority of the people in the world, particularly that of the developing countries... This is not an issue of human rights; it is an issue of interference of internal affairs...  Liu Xiaobo broke Article 105, a crime of instigating the subversion of state power. He went beyond general criticism of the state..."

I believe that she is wrong, and I am not alone in that opinion.
Almost 100 protesters marched on the Chinese Embassy in Oslo with a petition containing more than 100,000 signatures demanding Liu Xiaobo be released from prison, crying "Freedom to Liu! Freedom for China!". 

Leaders from many nations all over the world including President Barack Obama and his wife have called for his release as well, and China's leaders in Beijing have only grown more furious over the requests and demands for Xiaobo's freedom.  The Chinese Foreign Ministry has blocked all media and internet coverage and all information about the Nobel Peace Prize being awarded to Liu Xiaobo. 

President Obama stated,

"Mr. Liu reminds us that human dignity also depends upon the advance of democracy, open society, and the rule of law. The values he espouses are universal, his struggle is peaceful, and he should be released as soon as possible."

The chair is only empty of a physical body... it is filled beyond measure with faith, with ideals, with dreams, with the support of those who have freedom and of those who believe in it and dream of it every day.

These are the struggles that bring us to freedom in the days to come. Liu Xiaobo, we believe in you, and in what you stand for. Keep the faith. Peace be with you.



Chris Andrews Photography http://www.cja-images.org.uk/index.html

The Rhyme of the Dream-Maker Man

The Rhyme of the Dream-Maker Man

Down near the end of a wandering lane,

That runs 'round the cares of a day,

Where Conscience and Memory meet and explain

Their quaint little quarrels away.

A mist air-castle sits back in the dusk
where brownies and hobgoblins dwell
And this is the home
Of a busy old gnome
who is making up dream-things to sell,
My dear,

The daintiest dreams to sell.

He makes golden dreams of wicked men's sighs.
He weaves on the thread of a hope
The airiest fancies of pretty brown eyes,
And patterns his work with a trope.

The breath of a rose and the blush of a wish
Boiled down to the ghost of a bliss,
He wraps in a smile
Every once in a while
And calls it the dream of a kiss,
Dear heart,
The dream of an unborn kiss.

Last night when I walked thro` the portals of sleep
And came to the weird little den,
I looked in the place where the elf-man should keep
A dream that I buy now and then.

`Tis only the sweet happy dream of a day-
Yet one that I wish may come true-
But I learned from the elf
That you'd been there yourself
And he'd given my dear dream to you,
Sweetheart,
He'd given our dream to you.

~William Allen White

Love Embattled

"It would degrade me to marry Heathcliff now; so he shall never know how I love him: and that, not because he's handsome, Nelly, but because he's more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same..."

"...He's always, always in my mind: not as a pleasure, any more than I am always a pleasure to myself, but as my own being."

"He wanted all to lie in an ecstasy of peace; I wanted all to sparkle and dance in a glorious jubilee. I said his heaven would be only half alive; and he said mine would be drunk: I said I should fall asleep in his; and he said he could not breathe in mine..."

"He'll never let his friends be at ease, and he'll never be at ease himself!"

- Emily Bronte, Wuthering Heights

Is there nothing as tragic and beautiful as deeply passionate love that exists but cannot be given a breath of life? I find myself wandering through the mists of Wuthering Heights from time to time; aching for the dark, brooding, melancholy Heathcliff and the only light in his life, his strong and determined Cathy.  

It is nearly unbearable to love someone so much that you cannot have; as though they were the very air that brings life and without it there is no life worth living. Is there passion like this in life? Is there love that cannot be measured, cannot be lost or changed; even by death? I must believe that there is. I must believe that every level of love leads to a pinnacle as poignant and eternal as this... as deep and strong and timeless as this... for there is no denying what our souls know, and mine knows that this is true.

Dear, Dear Diary

Dear, Dear Diary,

Let's do this today, because we need to do this today.  Let's come up with 5 Things What Are Good, as our Dearest Jon used to do. 

1. Trying BIG new things which necessitate one jumping feet first into the OMIGOSH-I-HAVEN'T-EVER-NEVER-THOUGHT-I-COULD-DIDN'T-THINK-I-EVER-WOULD-BUT-I'M-GONNA-DO-IT-ANYWAY-OMIGOSH pool.  It's deep in here, and I like it.

2. Very grateful for dear friends & family who are always there to support, love, encourage and believe in me. I cannot imagine where I would be without you. 

 

3. Stash White Christmas White Tea.  O.M.G.  This is my new favorite tea of the season. I don't like peppermint, but I LOVE this tea.  YUM.  If you could put a snowy Christmas morning in a mug and drink it, this is what it would taste like.

4. The last truly warm day of fall on a Monday, following a weekend that could have been stolen out of late June... right before the first snow of the fall.

5. Seeing each new day as an opportunity to grow.

A Denial

A Denial

We have met late-it is too late to meet,
   O friend, not more than friend!
Death's forecome shroud is tangled round my feet,
And if I step or stir, I touch the end.
   In this last jeopardy
Can I approach thee, I, who cannot move?
How shall I answer thy request for love?
   Look in my face and see.

I love thee not, I dare not love thee! go
   In silence; drop my hand.
If thou seek roses, seek them where they blow
In garden-alleys, not in desert-sand.
   Can life and death agree,
That thou shouldst stoop thy song to my complaint?
I cannot love thee. If the word is faint,
   Look in my face and see.

I might have loved thee in some former days.
   Oh, then, my spirits had leapt
As now they sink, at hearing thy love-praise!
Before these faded cheeks were overwept,
   Had this been asked of me,
To love thee with my whole strong heart and head,
I should have said still . . . yes, but smiled and said,
   "Look in my face and see!"

But now . . . God sees me, God, who took my heart
   And drowned it in life's surge.
In all your wide warm earth I have no part
A light song overcomes me like a dirge.
   Could Love's great harmony
The saints keep step to when their bonds are loose,
Not weigh me down? Am I a wife to choose?
   Look in my face and see.

While I behold, as plain as one who dreams,
   Some woman of full worth,
Whose voice, as cadenced as a silver stream's,
Shall prove the fountain-soul which sends it forth;
   One younger, more thought-free
And fair and gay, than I, thou must forget,
With brighter eyes than these . . . which are not wet . . .
   Look in my face and see!

So farewell thou, whom I have known too late
   To let thee come so near.
Be counted happy while men call thee great,
And one belovèd woman feels thee dear!
   Not I! That cannot be.
I am lost, I am changed, I must go farther, where
The change shall take me worse, and no one dare
   Look in my face and see.

Meantime I bless thee. By these thoughts of mine
   I bless thee from all such!
I bless thy lamp to oil, thy cup to wine,
Thy hearth to joy, thy hand to an equal touch
   Of loyal troth. For me,
I love thee not, I love thee not! Away!
Here's no more courage in my soul to say
   "Look in my face and see."

~Elizabeth Barrett Browning

Wordless Wednesday

A Farewell To A Friend~

We've seen and done so much,  you and I, haven't we?
Been through highs and lows together,
Sailed & flown through days & months & years, together.
We've laughed and cried, loved and fought,
You and I have watched so much time pass;
More than can be measured.

There is a bend in our road that you cannot see,
A change in the cadence of our walk.
There is a road that I must take alone, dear one,
And though I am letting go of your hand, know that I will
Always hold you in my heart.
I know there will be a day when this road brings me back
To you
I will hold your hand to my cheek & embrace you so tightly.

But until then,
I have promises to keep; promises made to people
I love
And I must keep my word.
So farewell, for a time, sweet friend.
May wings of Angels encircle you,
And keep you with my love,
Until I can return.

Thanks to Radeka Photography for the image

Choose An Identity

I was leaving a comment on a friend's blog yesterday, when I paused for a moment to look at the phrase, 'Choose an identity' under the comment box.  I could use my blog pseudonym, OpenID, a name/url or be annonymous.  Choose an identity.  Decide who it is that I wish to portray myself as to the world at large.  It made me smile and wonder about all the identities I would choose, if given the opportunity to do so.

I would choose to be so many people.

A secret spy with no identity at all; 00Charlie's Angels

A right hand to Martin Luther King Jr., marching alongside him

An adventuring archaeologist (ala Lara Croft)

A nameless member of the Peace Corps serving 3rd world countries

An ingenious inventor in a secret lab, creating brilliant wonders that would change the future of the world for the better (ala Tesla, Einstein, Franklin, Edison, DaVinci)

An elementary school teacher

A professional dancer (ballet/ballroom)

Sherlock Holmes

A student of DaVinci; while he was living

A race car driver

An Air Force fighter pilot

A painter who lives by the sea and sells my art on the docks, and/or in Paris, in Montmartre, selling paintings on the sidewalk

A photojournalist who travels the world and creates images of humanity and culture, printed in Natl Geo, Life and Time, whose photos give the world a reason to change the way we all live

A novelist who has the luxury of writing for a living; while living all over the world

...oh the list could go on for a while. 

Who would you be, if you could choose an identity?

Introspective Reflecting

I stayed up until 5:30 this morning, engrossed in fiction that had my rapt attention, and then I forced myself to take a nap before I got up to go to work.  I don't normally stay up that late (or, rather, early)... but it does happen from time to time.  There is a domino effect that follows, of course.  I'm tired, I give less than a stellar effort in my work throughout the day, my interactions with people are subdued and they receive less than my best, and I've heard that we never actually catch up on the sleep we lose, although I've tried!

I've not reached a point in my life that I've been seeking to get to for a long time.  One of balance.  One where everything actually works the way it's supposed to.  Sometimes I imagine a mirror image of myself, living a parallel life just the other side of some translucent barrier I can almost see and touch (thanks Hollywood for the air/water/energy force field filmy see-through image in my brain).  It's the same me, living my life, but living it the way I always wish I could.

I see the Scarlett who gets out of bed early every morning, goes to the gym every day, gets everything done on time, always says the right thing, always does the right thing, the one whose morals and integrity are always intact, the one who remembers everyone's birthday and sends the right cards and gifts, the one who keeps the spotlessly clean home, the one who finishes everything she starts, the one who is unfailingly reliable, the one who does it right, all the time, every time, the way that I mean to and just can't seem to do.  Sometimes I imagine her looking through that otherworld barrier at me, as I do her, and we regard each other.

She wonders at my life of chaos and passion and rushing about, at my spontaneity, at my self indulgence and all the extremities that are a constant in my life; everything as far as I can take it all the time, and over the edge more often than should happen.  I wonder at her perfection, at her stability and constancy, at her ability.

We are both at a loss, because each of us has qualities that the other would need for a truly full and perfect life.  We both have strength, dedication, and drive.  We are both passionate about what we do, but because we are not one person, because there is no combination of our lives, we are each leading a life that is unbalanced.  How I wish, almost daily, that she and I were one person.  I wonder how different my life would be if we were one person... my pseudo other me and I.  For now I will just keep seeking the balance between us... that place where we'd be if we were ever really able to meet and change everything.

Relax~Revitalize~Renew ~101

Viaggiatore and I are ready for the road again.  Nevermind that we just got back from another trip to London; there is a very special trip coming soon... one that we've been looking forward to for a very long time.

This will be the one that truly counts, for the whole year.  This will be the one during which we can relax and let the world go away, revitalize our souls and our bodies, and renew all those things about life that we love, live for, and believe in.  We'll find new things, too, which will only enrich the experience.  Oh the adventures to be had!

Mr. Black has agreed to join us on this excursion as well, so the company will be very good, indeed.  There's much to be said for good company on adventures to be had.  We'll visit friends and family, make new friends along the way, and see so many countless wonderful things and places. 

Here's some preliminary Introspect: