Settling Matters Of The Heart ~ The Cardinal Rules Of Love

One of my very dearest fellow lion owners from the Shameless Lions Writing Circle; Rel of Under The Microscope (and his lion Zaccharias), recently posted a question regarding couples who settle for each other, when they are perhaps not well suited for one another.

Is it okay to settle? Rel asked.

My heart and mind were stirred into a tempest with this query... as I have a very strong belief about it. It is one that is well known to my friends, and usually shared emphatically with those who ask me about it. My response to Rel was this:

I am sure that it is a matter of opinion; and for some, yes... settling is fine, they'd rather have someone than be alone.

For me... absolutely not.

I'd never, ever settle. If it's not absolute, true, real love then I don't want it. I am worth that. I am worth being loved for who I am, all of my days, by one who could not imagine waking up without me by his side every day of his life, and one who wouldn't want to.

And he is worth being loved like that in return, for as I expect it, so would I give it, to the nth degree.

What is real love, but living your life with a partner whose existence is the air that you breathe, one who fills your heart with fiery passion, strong love and peaceful contentment, and who, by their love and devotion, is the inspiration that lifts the wings of your soul to reach ever higher, to be the best that you can be... and then, to give all of that back to your mate with every fiber of your being out of the necessity of love, because your heart would burst if you did not; you could know no other way to exist than to give all of yourself to him, as he does to you.

What is settling for mediocrity in the face of that? It is nothing, and I would walk away from nothing, every time. I would rather be alone than in a lie. If I settle, then what do I believe I am worth? No better than sufficient? Acceptable? What do I believe that my partner is worth then, if I am settling for mediocrity with him... then that makes him less than he should be worth in the eyes of one who should love him without limits.


I have seen too many cold and loveless relationships die, or exist like a hollow and empty shell for no beneficial reason. Life is far too short to live like that; without love, within a lie. If it's not the real thing, it isn't worth the endeavor.

Thank you, Rel. This was a very good question.

Cuil New Things

I am a seriously devoted Google user. I love Google.

But... not everyone does. Some of the Google team left that company to start their own search engine site:
Welcome Cuil.com (pronounced 'cool')... this would appear to be the antithesis of Google. Its home page is black, and its approach is different in that the results of your search are organized by ideas, and they guarantee user privacy. They offer 120 billion pages through which to search.

Maybe they can help me find...

Tall Tales

It was that time again, I had to go to the doctor to make sure the engine and parts were all working like they should be.
As a rule (not quite Cardinal), unless I am -thisclose- to dying, I don't go to the doctor. There's almost nothing that aspirin or hydrogen peroxide can't fix.

My doctor led me down the hall to the exam room.

"It seems you missed this question when you filled out your paperwork. How old are you?" she asked.

I didn't miss it, and I'd hoped she would.

I lied about my age.

She wrote it down.

"How much do you weigh?" she continued her interrogation of my highly personal information.

I lied about my weight.

She wrote it down.

"How tall are you?" she was relentless.

"I'm 5'7." I didn't mind this question.

She put her paperwork down and looked at me in consternation.

"No, you're not."

"Yes, I am." I was miffed that she disagreed.

"You are not 5'7." She was adamant.

"I most certainly am too 5'7, it's on my drivers license!" I was bordering on indignant at this point.

"I am 5'8 and you are not an inch shorter than me. Stand on this thing." she was resolute now.

I stood on the thing and she measured my height.

"You are 5'5 and a half." she said smugly.

I was aghast. I truly believed I was 5'7. I'd thought that for years. It is on my drivers license.
I wept. Suddenly I was so much shorter than I thought I was. My stature had been substantially deflated, as well as my ego.

I haven't been back to see her since, but I have begun purchasing higher heels!

These shoes (and several other cute styles) can be bought here.

Showers, Surprises and Suppositions

Did you ever say, "Rain, rain, go away and come again another day..."?
Well, today is the day that it's coming back. In buckets, thankfully. We needed it. The omniscient weather forecasters predict rain throughout the weekend; and if they are proved right, I will be delighted.

It feels like fall... just a sampling, of course, but enough that I can curl up under my favorite blanket (crocheted just for me by a sweet friend in just the color I love), and I can sip tea, read books and nap intermittently.

Doesn't that sound divine?

Oh yes, there will be homework and random household duties, but there will be indulgence all around and throughout it, and I can hardly wait.

NEXT:

I laughed so much I cried.
There are reports that Big Foot has been found. Dead. In Georgia (USA), of all places. Big Foot lived in Georgia all this time?! Who knew? The finders of this quarry will reveal his corpse today.


This is being reported on CNN no less...



I wonder what we have roaming around in the Rocky Mountains?

*************************************
UPDATE!!!

CNN has shown this Bigfoot find to be a hoax!
Steady yourself from the shock...

Say What?!

I am back in school again. Already. I'm excited for it, I love going to this school, love the campus, the classes, the instructors; they've mostly been great.

I am required to take a macroeconomics class, and I've put it off for so long that I have to take it now. So, I opted to take it online this semester... to save myself the anguish of going to the campus and sitting through an economics class in person; which for me would be right up there with Chinese water torture.

The instructor asked that we all introduce ourselves in an online discussion forum. One lady said she'd just gotten back from the UK, to which the instructor replied that he would love to visit the UK, it's on his list of places to go... and he will be going to the UK as soon as the dollar is stronger against the euro.

-blink-

Right eyebrow raises slowly in disbelief.

I'm taking economics from a man who doesn't know that the whole of the UK uses the British Pound Sterling?

Fantastic.

I certainly hope that was a typo.

Passport Stamps

"Withhold no sacrifice, grudge no toil, seek no sordid gain, fear no foe, all will be well." ~ Winston Churchill

Cardinal Rules V

It has come to my attention that we need to review the rules.

Not regular rules, which are meant to be bent, broken, twisted and otherwise tossed aside with scandalous disregard, but Cardinal Rules. Guidelines and standards by which we live, and which are never, ever broken.

In order to provide an all encompassing and comprehensive list, I have requested the assistance of four incomparable women who are wise, witty, experienced, strong, open minded and walk through each day with humor and a good woman's grace.

Welcome to Minx of The Inner Minx, Sognatrice of Bleeding Espresso, Heart of Guilty With an Explanation, and Vanilla of Absolute Vanilla. Thank you for your assistance ladies, I couldn't have designed a better team to produce these essential life rules.

We will feature each ladies Cardinal Rules for one day this week.

Cardinal Rules

Scarlett's Cardinal Rules:

~ Thou shalt not hate. No good comes of it, which consequently makes it a monumental waste.

~Be honest, kind and patient

~We are not as good as we could be; strive to be a better person and leave this world a better place for your having passed through it, EVERY single day. We are part of everyone and everything around us, build and grow within it.

~When you're wrong, say so, and apologize sincerely - repaired bridges will last decades longer than weak and broken ones

~Do not judge... lest ye be judged

~Forgive. Remember the lesson, and grow from it, but forgive

~Treat others with dignity and respect

~When you give your word, stand by it and make its worth good

~Always have dreams... they may change over time, but always have dreams

~Don't pass up opportunities to close your eyes and make a wish

~When you can help, do. There is no excuse to walk away from need when you can make a difference

~Don't assume anything; ask and be certain

~LISTEN with everything in you

~Never, ever ask a man how you look unless he's gay. - Straight men don't look at clothes, they look at where the clothes stop and the skin begins. If they have a 'vested intimate interest' in you, you are not going to get an honest answer. The only straight men who have any fashion sense at all are Metrosexual and they are in short order; if you find one, keep him in whatever capacity you can get him (preferably friends). This is what your girlfriends are for; your good close girlfriends who would tell you if you had broccoli in your teeth and if your outfit is NOT flattering.

~Let the people that you care about know just how much they mean to you - you don't know how much time you have left with them

~Laugh a lot; laughter is the rainbow that pushes the clouds away

~Hold hands; there isn't anything we can't get through when we have a hand to hold along the way

~There are times when one must splurge, life is too short for permanent practicality

~Be daring whenever possible -it broadens horizons, and you will miss less of life

~Explore what you do not understand until you do understand it, even if you disagree

~Look closely at who and what is beneath the surface, and you will always be surprised one way or the other

~Time is the most precious gift and commodity that we are ever given; how you spend it absolutely defines who and what you are


Thank you Heart, Minx, Vanilla and Sognatrice for your help on this project, it's been so fun and a very good review!

Cardinal Rules IV

It has come to my attention that we need to review the rules.

Not regular rules, which are meant to be bent, broken, twisted and otherwise tossed aside with scandalous disregard, but Cardinal Rules. Guidelines and standards by which we live, and which are never, ever broken.

In order to provide an all encompassing and comprehensive list, I have requested the assistance of four incomparable women who are wise, witty, experienced, strong, open minded and walk through each day with humor and a good woman's grace.

Welcome to Minx of The Inner Minx, Sognatrice of Bleeding Espresso, Heart of Guilty With an Explanation, and Vanilla of Absolute Vanilla. Thank you for your assistance ladies, I couldn't have designed a better team to produce these essential life rules.

We will feature each ladies Cardinal Rules for one day this week.

Cardinal Rules

Sognatrice's Cardinal Rules

Per Sognatrice's request, this is a second publishing of a post she wrote when she turned 31, and it's completely appropriate for this project. Thanks Sognatrice!

31 Things I’ve Learned in My 31 Years

1. Family members can be friends and friends can be like family members.
2. Laughing until your stomach hurts should happen at least once a day.
3. Being alone does not have to mean being lonely.
4. Dreaming is essential to living.
5. When what others want and what you want differ, trust your instincts.
6. Dogs are woman’s best friend too.
7. Sometimes love really isn’t enough.
8. Broken hearts should be worn with pride; it means you dared to love.
9. Peanut butter goes with everything.
10. Fireplaces, books, and blankets rule, especially when enjoyed together.
11. Inclement weather and important appointments are like peas and carrots.
12. Trying new things and meeting new people keep life interesting.
13. You can’t control what others do, but you can control how you react to them.
14. Stepping and/or kneeling on tacks hurts. A lot. Avoid it.
15. Love can be found in the wind.
16. Trust is a choice.
17. Innards for dinner do nothing for me.
18. The shower is a good place to cry.
19. Living simply helps others simply live.
20. Being wrong isn’t failure, it’s human.
21. Everything happens for a reason.
22. Sleeping, particularly napping, is underrated.
23. Being the bigger person isn’t always easy, but it’s always rewarding.
24. The sound of someone’s voice can be the most beautiful music in the world.
25. You don’t need to meet someone in person to develop a close relationship.
26. Success and happiness are best defined individually, i.e., by each person.
27. Appreciating small, good things makes dealing with big, bad things easier.
28. Homemade is always better.
29. Being accessible 24 hours a day is annoying.
30. The best way to learn a foreign language is full, painful-at-times immersion.
31. Moving ahead is easier if you understand where you’ve been.

____________________________________
Thank you so very much Cara! What a wonderful list, and all of it so true!
Tomorrow will be our last installment of Cardinal Rules, don't miss it!

Cardinal Rules III

It has come to my attention that we need to review the rules.

Not regular rules, which are meant to be bent, broken, twisted and otherwise tossed aside with scandalous disregard, but Cardinal Rules. Guidelines and standards by which we live, and which are never, ever broken.

In order to provide an all encompassing and comprehensive list, I have requested the assistance of four incomparable women who are wise, witty, experienced, strong, open minded and walk through each day with humor and a good woman's grace.

Welcome to Minx of The Inner Minx, Sognatrice of Bleeding Espresso, Heart of Guilty With an Explanation, and Vanilla of Absolute Vanilla. Thank you for your assistance ladies, I couldn't have designed a better team to produce these essential life rules.

We will feature each ladies Cardinal Rules for one day this week.

Cardinal Rules

Minx's Cardinal Rules

1. The biggest wardrobe is ours by right. You can have the small one in the spare bedroom and the old chest of drawers in the garage.

2. Supportive undergarments are never talked about in public and we don't own any anyway. The one you might have seen belongs to a fat friend.

3. Shoes are bought in bulk, it is the law.

4. We reserve the right to hate something once we get it home and can store it in your (small) wardrobe for the next five years.

5. Mirrors lie all the time but you are expected to tell the truth!

6. New boots always come with a free pair of jeans, a new top, a scarf and that lovely jacket that you've had your eye on for ages.

7. A coat is never bought to keep the rain off. We have cars for that.

8. Our bum's never look big in anything, but the bum walking down the street in front of us is allowed to be huge, absolutely huge.

9. A nod from behind the paper is not the answer we are looking for when we have inquired whether we look okay. "You look nice" is enough to send us running for a change of clothes.

10. It is perfectly acceptable to wear your best t-shirt to bed and to drop chocolate pudding all over it but unless you have a death wish don't ever put any of our clothes on - ever.

11. Female underwear is made to fall apart after six washes - it is a design fault.

12. "No, of course it's not new. I bought it in the sale last year" is always the gospel truth. Would I lie to you?


______________________________________

Thank you so very much, Miss Minx! What a fabulous list!
Words to live by, unquestionably.
Come back tomorrow for Sognatrice's Cardinal Rules!

Cardinal Rules II

It has come to my attention that we need to review the rules.

Not regular rules, which are meant to be bent, broken, twisted and otherwise tossed aside with scandalous disregard, but Cardinal Rules. Guidelines and standards by which we live, and which are never, ever broken.

In order to provide an all encompassing and comprehensive list, I have requested the assistance of four incomparable women who are wise, witty, experienced, strong, open minded and walk through each day with humor and a good woman's grace.

Welcome to Minx of The Inner Minx, Sognatrice of Bleeding Espresso, Heart of Guilty With an Explanation, and Vanilla of Absolute Vanilla. Thank you for your assistance ladies, I couldn't have designed a better team to produce these essential life rules.

We will feature each ladies Cardinal Rules for one day this week.

Cardinal Rules

Heart at Guilty With An Explanation

1. Don't worry about what people think; they don't do it very often.


2. Treat service people politely and respectfully. Someone who is nice to friends but rude to the waiter is not a nice person.


3. Never, ever ask someone when her baby is due unless you know for a fact that she is really pregnant.


4. Never try to convert anyone to your religious beliefs. This is arrogant and demeaning and will always be resented. Besides, everyone's views are equally valid.


5. Always try to support and build up your friends. If you can't do that in honesty, they shouldn't be your friends.

________________________________________

Thank you very much, Heart! Excellent list.
Come back tomorrow for more Cardinal Rules!

Cardinal Rules I

It has come to my attention that we need to review the rules.

Not regular rules, which are meant to be bent, broken, twisted and otherwise tossed aside with scandalous disregard, but Cardinal Rules. Guidelines and standards by which we live, and which are never, ever broken.

In order to provide an all encompassing and comprehensive list, I have requested the assistance of four incomparable women who are wise, witty, experienced, strong, open minded and walk through each day with humor and a good woman's grace.

Welcome to Minx of The Inner Minx, Sognatrice of Bleeding Espresso, Heart of Guilty With an Explanation, and Vanilla of Absolute Vanilla. Thank you for your assistance ladies, I couldn't have designed a better team to produce these essential life rules.

We will feature each ladies Cardinal Rules for one day this week.


Cardinal Rules

Absolute Vanilla's Cardinal Rules:

Some (but by no means all!) Cardinal Rules:

If you don't want to know the truth, don't ask for it.

If you haven't got anything nice to say, don't say anything.

If aren't willing to play nicely, don't play at all.

Play nicely, but don't be a doormat. I mean, do you really want everyone's dirt rubbing off on you?

Set your boundaries, or run the risk of invasion.

Men, like grizzly bears, need their caves. Respect that and just let them be - or run the risk of being growled at or bitten.

If you want a strong willed person to do something, let them believe it was their idea. (How one achieves this is generally beyond me!)

If you want to get slim - don't eat carbs after lunchtime.

If you really want to get thin - don't eat sugar. Yes, that's right, put those jelly beans down now!

Laugh every day. Sing in the shower. Have fun. Smile at strangers. Talk to and cuddle animals. Hug trees. And practice mindfulness.

Walk tall and believe in yourself - you'll feel so much better about you and your life. Oh go on, try it, I dare you!

Practice positive affirmations - and do it in the present tense. So it's not "I want to be a successful published author", but "I am a successful published author". Now go and practice signing autographs!

Love yourself and know you're beautiful. Smile at yourself in the mirror. See, there you go - you are beautiful and lovable.

Know that all is one.

___________________________________
Thank you so much Vanilla!
Come back each day this week for more Cardinal Rules.

Passport Stamps

"Greatness is not in where we stand, but in what direction we are moving ... we must sail sometimes with the wind and sometimes against it -- but sail we must and not drift, nor lie at anchor." ~Oliver Wendell Holmes

Submarine Races

One of the lesser known but extremely popular sporting events here in Denver are the annual submarine races.
It's a very special time, as the lakes that are big enough for the submarines to race in are only thawed for a few weeks at the end of July, and here we are at that time again!

It's quite a thrill to experience it, and I am so glad that I could share it with you.

I was very lucky to capture this impossible shot, just at the moment that the Nautilus eclipsed the nose of the Seawolf and won the day. Go Captain Nemo!!





....what?
It's a submarine race, what were you expecting to see?

True Fairy Tales

The world is full of castles. I love many of them for different reasons, but my favorite is the Neuschwanstein Castle in the heart of Germany. This is a fairytale castle, created by a fairytale king... the mysterious King Ludwig II.
A very romantic dreamer, adored by women, a knight and a proud leader; he loved art, acting and music, so much so that he brought composer Robert Wagner to the palace and for many years was his patron. Wagner said, "... Today I was brought to him. He is unfortunately so beautiful and wise, soulful and lordly, that I fear his life must fade away like a divine dream in this base world... You cannot imagine the magic of his regard: if he remains alive it will be a great miracle!"

King Ludwig II created an unrealistic fairytale kingdom around himself. He began to sleep during the day and spend his waking hours at night, traveling then (often in costume), by fanciful coach or sleigh.
He intertwined his fascination with the Holy Grail into his life and his palace, and as years passed, he began to retreat into his castle more and more often, where reality almost didn't exist. In a tragic, heartbreaking twist, he was removed from the throne by reason of mental incompetency, and shortly thereafter, he and the psychiatrist who declared him insane were both found dead in a lake.

This castle, its history and its fairytale king appeal to me on several levels, but more than any single reason, simply because there are times when I wish I could step into a dream and live in it for a long while... and he did. It delights me that someone, somewhere in time, was able to do that. He did it beautifully, and it's still there for others to come share in it, in a very small way... to step into his dream and walk through the echoes of it that fill his halls and his countryside.


He may not have known it, but he is also a member of the League of Dreamers... and by default, that is an eternal company of souls.

Ludwig II as the Grand Master of the Order of the Knights of St George. G. Schachinger, Munich, 1887.


Thanks to the Neuschwanstein Castle website for the photographs.

Testament to Love

I don't remember how old I was the first time I saw the image of the Taj Mahal. I could not tell you when I learned about its history and purpose. A mausoleum built by a grieving man for the love of his life who left this world.
It touched my heart deeply, from the first moment I saw it. It spoke a language of real and true love to that ever hopeful romantic in my heart. An object of devotion in memorial to a love that could not be measured or eclipsed in beauty, not even by this incredible monument to it.

This grand effort to express the strongest emotion of any human heart is considered sacred, is magnificent, and is still visited by multitudes of people every day. It is a wonder of our world. It is a wonder of humanity. It is a wonder of the heart.

Tokens of love come in countless forms... flowers, rings, art, music, structures, and on and on... and on, again. But all of them could never really capture that precious gift that cannot be bought or stolen or forced, that gift that can only be gotten by one when it is given sincerely and freely by another; the gift of love. We offer it without cost, when it is truly given.

Love transcends everything... time, people, places, even human form (think of love given from and within the animal kingdom).

There is no force more powerful or more tender in existence. It is the essence of life. It is boundless... and it is essential.
Give it at every chance, there is no greater gift that can be given.

Thanks to Angelfire for the breathtaking photograph.