Friday, February 29, 2008



Two years ago, I bought a single short stalk of bamboo.
It's a lovely little thing, and I put it in a small ceramic dish that was hand made for me by a friend a long time ago.
I was hesitant to purchase bamboo, as my very dearest JReed told me in no uncertain terms that killing a bamboo plant would bring worse bad luck to me than walking under a ladder across the path of a black cat and breaking a mirror all in the same day.

"Much worse!" he said.

Knowing that I have about the same luck with plants as I do in the kitchen... ahem... he advised me quite seriously NOT to buy one.
"Don't tempt fate!" he said.

I thought "Meh... I could do it." I have two plants who've managed to hang on by the roots for several years.

So I bought one from the Dragon Boat Festival. I loved it. Talked to it daily, kept it watered, and enjoyed it devotedly.

Last year, since I'd done so well with my single stalk, I felt courageous... bold, even. And I bought two more stalks. Same festival. I put them on my desk at home, on either side of my computer. They lived harmoniously and happily. All 3 were doing quite well. Until...

I came to work on Monday and the single bamboo was yellow. It has since turned black. There are 3 yellowy brown leaves and three kind~of green leaves, so I am doing my utmost to nurse it back to health; but I have my doubts as to the success of this endeavor. Shhh... don't tell the plant.

The two at home are also not faring well... as of this week.

They have begun to shrivel and wilt... sad little bamboo stalks.

WHAT is going ON?
How does one save bamboo?
What if it's too late? How do I fix the luck?
Anxiously waiting...

Thursday, February 28, 2008

4 x 4 Squared

Absolute Vanilla has tagged everyone with a meme of 4's. As I've not done a meme of 4's B4 (4give me, please), I am inclined to acquiesce.

Four jobs I've held: I'm going to do 4 jobs I want instead.


Four movies I've watched over and over again:

To Kill a Mockingbird
A Walk in the Clouds
Auntie Mame
My Fair Lady

Four places I've been:

In warm, sunny places of serenity where I can feel my soul breathe and dance.
On rugged mountain peaks in frigid screaming wind; but I always make it to the other side.
In new, unfamiliar and strange places where I must be courageous and brave and learn my way.
In old and familiar places worn with time and life, that I touch with my fingertips and my memory, places that remind me where I've been and illuminate where I am and the road ahead.

Four places I've lived:

Do we not live everywhere we go?
My second post ever was on this very subject, and it's one of my best and most favorite posts... please take a moment to read it!

Four TV shows I watch: For the most part, I don't watch TV. Monumental waste of time. This is the best I can offer:

Pro football
College basketball (WOO HOO March Madness!)
Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade

Truly; I think that's it. For the year.

Four radio shows I listen to:
I wake up to KLOVE (a Christian station), and after that I channel surf all day.
It's very nice to wake up to a positive message in the morning. Helps set the mood for the day.

Four things I look forward to:

Each new day
Time with family and friends
New or favorite experiences

Four favourite foods: Mexalianesethai!! oh...

Warm Bread
Fresh fruit and Veggies

Four places I'd rather be:

With friends and family
On my first assignment for National Geographic

Four people I e-mail regularly:

Business associates

I'm not going to tag 4 people; if you'd like to do this meme, then please feel free to play along!

Friday, February 22, 2008

My Love

Mi Amore,

It's been such a long day, it seems like such a long time since I've seen you. Every eternal moment passes almost without moving, with no cadence or rhythm, it just drifts through me, past me... and it feels as though time does not carry me with it, to you. The ache weighs so heavily in my body that it reaches into my soul. How much I miss you.

But somehow I will arrive tonight, when at last I lay my head down and close my eyes. Then the darkness will open up and I'll walk through the door of our home there by the sea, and you will be waiting for me, just as you are every night, with your laughing, dancing eyes and your open arms. When those strong arms close around me, everything else that has worried my mind and heart will slip away into the highland mist that hovers over the green hills and moors beyond the house.

You always have a fire ready in the fireplace for us, and tea to share as we snuggle up together under our quilt in front of the fire. I love to watch its light in your eyes and that dimple in your cheek as you smile while you tell me stories. The softness of your voice fills the air around me like the deep quiet notes of a cello playing a melody that I alone can hear. It ripples through my body and soul and its sound synchronizes everything within me to my core.

The tips of your fingers, gently tracing my cheek and lips are the only tether that keeps me from floating away into the deep sea blues and greens in your eyes. How far do those eyes reach? Eternity? In all the times I've lost and found myself in them, I've only ever seen a beautiful sanctuary where we exist as one, without beginning and without end.

I tangle my fingers in your dark curly hair, and laugh at your endearing ways. I only pout playfully when you tease me a little, but then you pull me so close and kiss it away as though it were a shadow hiding from the sun. There isn't anything in the world that comforts me so much as your strong arms around me, nothing could penetrate that bond. I rest close to your neck and you lean your head on mine. The scents of you; faint sea, wood, wild heather and the highland mist... are intermingled on your skin and breathing it in deeply while I'm in your arms fills me completely with a blend of heady desire and warm serenity.

How the nearness of you takes me away to places I never imagined could exist, and you are in all of them, and I am with you, part of you ~ always. That look of hunger and need that haunts your face when you see me coming to our bed always undoes me; it's as though you are caged in desperation until the touch of your fingers on my skin releases you in that instant, and you are suddenly able to breath again. It mirrors my own desire for you.

Strong and gentle, your touch, your lips and arms, every part of our bodies, your need and mine, until we are one; shivering in the power of passion and ensconced in the fullness of love. Blanketed in the stillness of the night, wrapped so closely around each other, we sleep until the soft light of dawn touches the edge of the tall windows.

I rise to your beautiful smile as you hand me steaming coffee and kiss my face as delicately as a feather touch, my cheeks, my forehead, and at last my lips. We tease and laugh and play as we ready for the day and you walk me to the door. I know what's waiting beyond it and I want nothing more than to bury my face in your chest and stay, but we know I must go.

"We'll go to Paris tonight when you come home, and stay for the weekend, alright my love?" you tell me in the soft quiet voice that is meant only for me. I nod my head. Your finger reaches under my chin, and tenderly lifts my face to meet yours and I look into your serious eyes. "The time will fly, and I'll be with you, in your heart, every moment..." you tell me in a whisper.

And I slowly pull myself, unwillingly, from your arms while you stand as still as a statue and watch me so intensely, your face solemn, making yourself let me go. It is only our hands that touch now, and as I step through the door, our intertwined fingers slide slowly apart.

The door closes and I force myself back here, to my own bed where I am laying alone without you. I only open my eyes when I know I must, and I stare silently out the window at the day that has begun. The long day that I will find my way through, somehow, until the night brings me to you again. It is a half life, my half without you, and it is something, but it will never be everything until you are with me, once again.

You are the breath of my soul, my love, a timeless constant... the other part of me that I only barely exist without, and I will find you again. Somehow, somewhere along this journey that I wander through, I will find you again, and when at last your arms are around me, we will never let go.

Until then, I will wait to see you in my dreams, wait until my head is deep in my pillow and I close my eyes and the darkness opens up and I see the door of our home, where you wait for me.

I love you.


I recently did a photo shoot at a church and I liked this shot of a large marble sculpture of Jesus of Nazareth so much that I decided to play with it. It's original is a black and white printed on 8x10 pearl paper. I decided to have a little darkroom fun and 'solarized' it... that is, dabbled in developer, water and high contrast... and the outcome was such that I wanted to share it. It was so much fun to make!

I hope you like it as much as I do!

Friday, February 15, 2008


Belum... not quite yet.

Pron (bay-loom)

Leonardo da Vinci, upon his death, regretted leaving so much work unfinished (?!!) and I often wonder what the world would be like if he had been given more time... and if we could bring him back and put him in our world today, teach him what we have learned (a great deal of which originated in his mind) and then see what he can make of it to progress us even further, as I am absolutely sure he could.

And I think about what I have done, and left undone.

Have I finished my pilots license?
Have I finished that painting of the polar bears?
Have I finished either of the novels I've written?
Have I perfected my tango?
Read all the books I want to read?
Seen the places my heart yearns and aches to know?
Told all of my family and friends just one more time how deeply I love them?
Done my best...
Given what I could...
Loved as much as my big heart is capable of...
Been patient as often as I could...
Listened as often as I ought...
Gone as far in every direction that I can possibly go?


They say mediocrity is best... no extremes one way or the other. I'm not going for extreme, and I don't know how much time I have left (doesn't that make it priceless?), but my list is ever growing in many ways, and will never end.

I'll never really complete everything - and in the end, my magnum opus; my great work of a lifetime, will be what I did accomplish.
I just want to make sure that I didn't leave anyone or anything behind, unnecessarily.

A fellow student asked me recently where I find the time to do everything I do, and I answered, I do bits at a time, here and there, not all at once, and that way I can do more.

Another friend warned me about becoming a jack (jill) of all trades, but master of none.
That will not happen... if I do not give up on learning as much as I can about each thing, or working on each passion without end, even in moderation. It just takes a little longer.

What do I want to be when I grow up?

A Renaissance woman. A person that Leonardo da Vinci would be inclined to enjoy spending time with, then or now.

Are you as far as you want to be? Are you complete?

I'd be willing to bet...


Thursday, February 14, 2008

Happy Valentines!

I sincerely hope that you felt the love of someone you care about today, be it family, friend, lover or Lord.

Happy Valentines Day!