Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Easter Chicken

I had company over for dinner last night. People that I like very much, and wanted to impress.

Fire in the fireplace
Candles all over the place, lit and glowing
Christmas tree up and decked to the nines
Holiday decor on everything that doesn't move
In every room
Festive red table cloth on table
Golden flatware laid out (more on this in a minute)
Table set with every dish possible
Several appetizers laid out
Meal in oven, set to finish when company arrived
Christmas music playing
Snow falling outside... (this wasn't my doing, but it was a lovely touch)

Now. Let's backtrack a little bit, so that you can get the whole picture.
Scarlett is not a fabulous cook.
Far from it.

So I called Cecilia who is a fabulous cook. She walked me through a recipe over the phone, it went like this:

C: lay the chicken breasts flat in a well greased pan
S: okay
C: spoon the bread/nut/olive oil mixture over half of each breast
S: okay
C: fold the breast over and skewer it closed
S: uh....
C: no... wait, let's keep this simple, nevermind that, just spoon it over the chicken
S: okay...

....at this point, I sniff in stubbornness and look down my nose and think to myself, I can do that. I have bamboo skewers, God knows why, but I do. How hard can it be to skewer chicken shut. Closed. Whatever.

I prepare the chicken later on... to begin, I pull the -foot long and then some- bamboo skewers out and look from them to the shallow baking pan and think... um... these are too long.

I can break this bamboo into short little pieces and have splinters in the chicken and probably my fingers or... hmm... TOOTHPICKS! I can use toothpicks... they are short skewers! I was quite pleased with myself, I thought I was very clever for thinking of this.

Necessity is the mother of invention, no?

I baked the chicken and was on the phone with another friend who was walking me through "what the heck order does the flatware go in on the table... forks here.. no there... and OH NO I forgot to take the chicken out of the oven," my friend is laughing at me, she says "it's only been 10 minutes more, just baste it, it will be ok."

I pull the chicken out and gasp - NO! - and panic and start whimpering near tears... 'what?' she says... 'what's wrong with it?'

The toothpicks I used were colored toothpicks... their color bled into the chicken, so I had blue... green... red... yellow... pink... and turquoise holes in the chicken. Easter egg chicken.

And of course, my company was expected 15 minutes from then. My friend on the phone just roared laughing at me. She said, Scarlett... that's edible food coloring, it has to be because people put toothpicks in their mouths and food... it's ok. Just explain the chicken to your company.

So... it was ok. My company laughed and ate it all and no one died that I know of yet.

34 comments:

Irrelephant said...

How wonderful! Tye-dye chicken!

colleen said...

I once smoked a joint many years ago that was rolled in blue paper, went back to work with bright blue lips and didn't know it!

I don't do anything fancy. When it comes to cooking I play it safe.

Remiman said...

Scarlette,
It's the faux pas' that make these get-to-gethers so memorable!
rel
P.S. I grilled kabobs this summer and burnded the skewers to brittle charcoal bits....but the food was scrumptious.

The (Mis)Adventures of a Single City Chick said...

LOL, Scarlett! I feel for you during your moment of panic, but I must say that conjured up quite the hysterical picture. Just consider your meal very festive. :-)

Christina

Wanderlust Scarlett said...

Irrelephant,

That's exactly what it was.
But it was good!


Colleen,

HA HAHA AHAAHAA AAAAHAAA blue lips... that's so funny.
I normally don't cook. Cecilia knows it, she said, Scarlett... are you SURE you don't want to order pizza? You could just order pizza, you know...
Oh no, I said, I want to do this... I can do this!

right.


Rel!

It was a fun beginning to the evening, talk about an ice breaker!
I think that's why I have skewers, for BBQ, but I don't think I've ever used them. I think it was just a moment in the store when I thought, Oh! I could do that!


Christina,

It was hysterical for a minute, but not in a good way, thank heaven my friend was on the phone and told me it was ok or I'd have tossed the whole main course!


Scarlett & Viaggiatore

Molly said...

Hilarious! Don't forget what you did and you can do an encore at Easter! As long as the food was edible, you couldn't have come up with a better ice-breaker---truth being stranger than fiction---there's a loose connection there somewhere....

Wanderlust Scarlett said...

Molly,

So you're telling me to learn from my mistakes because it could be useful in the future...
when easter rolls around again and I WANT colorful food?

Good advice...
ha ha ha!!!

Scarlett & V.

Bonnie Jacobs said...

This was my favorite part of the story: "My company laughed and ate it all and no one died that I know of yet." YET? I laughed out loud, and it's after midnight here. Thanks for sharing the story, which will probably be one of the stories you will tell your great-grandchildren some day. Thus the laughter will roll on and on and on.

Absolute Vanilla (and Atyllah) said...

LOL! What a hoot! I'm reminded of the scene in Bridget Jones' Diary when she ties blue string around the leeks and ends up with blue soup!

I'm sure you had a wonderfully colourful dinner party!

Confessions of Cleopantha said...

That sounds like such a beautiful night lm sure your company would have felt welcomed and special with all the little touches... and who in their right mind would pass up easter egg chicken!

KC said...

Well, you probably just served your guests the most interesting chicken dish they'd ever seen. I love to cook, and I'm pretty good at it, I do like to show off with fancy dishes and all, but you know what, the most important part of a dinner party is good company. You showed your guests a good time and that's what being a hostess is all about!

Wanderlust Scarlett said...

Bonnie,

Glad you laughed... it's funny now, but it wasn't when it happened.

My guests laughed a lot when I had them all gathered in the kitchen and said solemnly and quietly... "I have to explain about the chicken..."


Vanilla,

Blue soup, you know, I bet I could make that. It sounds exactly like something that would come out of my kitchen.
Funny...


Cleo,

The company was so good. We had a wonderful time all night, in fact until 11pm!

Good memories with good friends. Nothing can touch that.


KC,

I've seen photos of your good cooking, and can I tell you, I WISH I was closer to Italy so I could visit you and Sognatrice for lunch and dinner and dessert sometimes!
Ok... most of the time. Let's be honest.


Scarlett & Viaggiatore

The Passionate Palate said...

You crack me up girlfriend!

Absolute Vanilla (and Atyllah) said...

You've been vengefully tagged...
(This looks like we're creating a habit!) ;-)

sognatrice said...

This will never not be funny. Ever.

witnessing am i said...

That is very funny. And good for you for getting it done (with only a little bit of food coloring here and there)!! Way to go!!

And Happy Christmas to you.

Shameless said...

Wonderful story. But it was unique. Coloured chicken. Yayyyyy!! When will they ever have that again? :-)

Minx said...

What colour was dessert?

heartinsanfrancisco said...

This made me laugh out loud!

I am sure your friends were VERY impressed, and rightly so.

After all, red and green are the colors of Christmas, and the others were just freebies.

Wanderlust Scarlett said...

Jeni,

Me, cracked up... yes, slightly... glad it's funny though!


Vanilla,

I'm it? I've been tagged?!! Yay!! I'm it! I'm it! I'm... wait...


Sognatrice,

Just as long as you aren't laughing at me forever... ;o)


David!

You are most gracious, sir!
Thank you, and to you also... Happy Christmas.


Seamus,

Never can tell what we'll have at my place.. potluck takes on a whole new meaning.
It's real luck when it's edible!

Just kidding!

Kind of...

Minx!

I actually got dessert OK - it was orange and mandarin slices mixed with coconut and shavings of dark chocolate.
My company was of an Asian ethnicity and they have a belief that oranges bring luck in the new year, so it was for that reason that I served oranges in dessert.


Hearts,

They were kind and loving, as good friends ought to be, and I was grateful for it... so grateful.
We had a wonderfully fun evening.

They may come back again some day!


Scarlett & Viaggiatore

Wilf said...

What exciting chicken - with the bonus that it wasn't a smoking black sort of colour like mine.
Addy

Wanderlust Scarlett said...

Wilf!

I've done the smoking black chicken, inside and outside of the chicken and the house, and had the fire department involved a few times.

So yes, this was a bonus... the company suffered no smoke inhalation, only minor temporary coloring... not unlike an oompa loompa.

Scarlett & Viaggiatore

Wayfarer Scientista said...

oh my! I am glad you were able to turn it into a wonderful memorable experience with company!

Alaleh said...

there is a well of wonderful recipes in the blogs these days, it's wonderful!
i'll try this one, thanx scarlett.
:)

chiefbiscuit said...

Ha that is very funny - I can see it all. In fact it sounds like a foretaste of a dinner at my house tonight - minus the snow!
Have a fantastic Christmas.

gautami tripathy said...

Wishing you laughter,love, joy and much peace for Christmas and coming New Year!

Much power to your pen too!

Pawlie Kokonuts said...

in this case ok is more than excellent

Absolute Vanilla (and Atyllah) said...

Wishing you and very happy and blessed Christmas, Scarlett - may your Christmas stocking overflow with gifts and may your heart be filled with love, laughter and good cheer.
(((((hugs))))

Jon M said...

HAPPY CHRISTMAS SCARLETT! I'VE RESPONDED TO YOUR CHRISTMAS TAG!

Vesper said...

Nice chicken!

Merry Christmas and all the best in the New Year for you and your loved ones!

somepinkflowers said...

easter egg chicken!


how very cool is that!
why,
i might do it myself ~~on purpose~~
nearer to Easter time...

how smart of you to invent it
with so much lead time
before THAT holiday!

:-)

what next?

i might put sprinkles
on my egg salad
now that i have been so inspired!

Vesper said...

Happy New Year, Scarlett & Viaggiatore!

Cre8Tiva said...

scarlett...visitng you always brightens my day...may the spirit of a new year fill your home with an abundance of love, laughter, and joy...may the magic of the moment bring peace to your heart all year long...may your creativity take you to amazing places and may you experience the resulting bliss...much love you and your family...rebecca

Bonnie Jacobs said...

I came back to see if any of your guests had "died that you know of yet." I guess not, since I see no report here of their demise. But re-reading your "Easter Chicken" post made me laugh all over again.

And I laughed again when I read what you replied to me: "My guests laughed a lot when I had them all gathered in the kitchen and said solemnly and quietly... 'I have to explain about the chicken...' " I can imagine your solemnity.

I kept laughing when I read what Minx said: "What colour was dessert?" And laughed more when you replied: "Minx! I actually got dessert OK - it was orange" (I started laughing here, thinking how well you color coordinated the meal) "and mandarin slices mixed with coconut and shavings of dark chocolate. My company was of an Asian ethnicity and they have a belief that oranges bring luck in the new year, so it was for that reason that I served oranges in dessert." Oh, real oranges.

Then I laughed some more when Wilf said, "What exciting chicken - with the bonus that it wasn't a smoking black sort of colour like mine." And cackled at your retort: "Wilf! I've done the smoking black chicken, inside and outside of the chicken and the house, and had the fire department involved a few times." Of course! That was perfect!

The best laughter may have come when Alaleh said, "There is a well of wonderful recipes in the blogs these days, it's wonderful! i'll try this one, thanx scarlett." She's right you know! and Somepinkflowers continued the hilarity by naming your recipe "easter egg chicken! how very cool is that! why, i might do it myself ~~on purpose~~ nearer to Easter time... how smart of you to invent it with so much lead time before THAT holiday! what next? i might put sprinkles
on my egg salad now that i have been so inspired!"

Oh, dear Scarlett, you should publish a recipe book, based simply on your chicken and all these idea sparked among your readers! You go, girl!

(I'm too busy laughing to write the book myself.)