My Love

Mi Amore,

It's been such a long day, it seems like such a long time since I've seen you. Every eternal moment passes almost without moving, with no cadence or rhythm, it just drifts through me, past me... and it feels as though time does not carry me with it, to you. The ache weighs so heavily in my body that it reaches into my soul. How much I miss you.

But somehow I will arrive tonight, when at last I lay my head down and close my eyes. Then the darkness will open up and I'll walk through the door of our home there by the sea, and you will be waiting for me, just as you are every night, with your laughing, dancing eyes and your open arms. When those strong arms close around me, everything else that has worried my mind and heart will slip away into the highland mist that hovers over the green hills and moors beyond the house.

You always have a fire ready in the fireplace for us, and tea to share as we snuggle up together under our quilt in front of the fire. I love to watch its light in your eyes and that dimple in your cheek as you smile while you tell me stories. The softness of your voice fills the air around me like the deep quiet notes of a cello playing a melody that I alone can hear. It ripples through my body and soul and its sound synchronizes everything within me to my core.

The tips of your fingers, gently tracing my cheek and lips are the only tether that keeps me from floating away into the deep sea blues and greens in your eyes. How far do those eyes reach? Eternity? In all the times I've lost and found myself in them, I've only ever seen a beautiful sanctuary where we exist as one, without beginning and without end.

I tangle my fingers in your dark curly hair, and laugh at your endearing ways. I only pout playfully when you tease me a little, but then you pull me so close and kiss it away as though it were a shadow hiding from the sun. There isn't anything in the world that comforts me so much as your strong arms around me, nothing could penetrate that bond. I rest close to your neck and you lean your head on mine. The scents of you; faint sea, wood, wild heather and the highland mist... are intermingled on your skin and breathing it in deeply while I'm in your arms fills me completely with a blend of heady desire and warm serenity.

How the nearness of you takes me away to places I never imagined could exist, and you are in all of them, and I am with you, part of you ~ always. That look of hunger and need that haunts your face when you see me coming to our bed always undoes me; it's as though you are caged in desperation until the touch of your fingers on my skin releases you in that instant, and you are suddenly able to breath again. It mirrors my own desire for you.

Strong and gentle, your touch, your lips and arms, every part of our bodies, your need and mine, until we are one; shivering in the power of passion and ensconced in the fullness of love. Blanketed in the stillness of the night, wrapped so closely around each other, we sleep until the soft light of dawn touches the edge of the tall windows.

I rise to your beautiful smile as you hand me steaming coffee and kiss my face as delicately as a feather touch, my cheeks, my forehead, and at last my lips. We tease and laugh and play as we ready for the day and you walk me to the door. I know what's waiting beyond it and I want nothing more than to bury my face in your chest and stay, but we know I must go.

"We'll go to Paris tonight when you come home, and stay for the weekend, alright my love?" you tell me in the soft quiet voice that is meant only for me. I nod my head. Your finger reaches under my chin, and tenderly lifts my face to meet yours and I look into your serious eyes. "The time will fly, and I'll be with you, in your heart, every moment..." you tell me in a whisper.

And I slowly pull myself, unwillingly, from your arms while you stand as still as a statue and watch me so intensely, your face solemn, making yourself let me go. It is only our hands that touch now, and as I step through the door, our intertwined fingers slide slowly apart.

The door closes and I force myself back here, to my own bed where I am laying alone without you. I only open my eyes when I know I must, and I stare silently out the window at the day that has begun. The long day that I will find my way through, somehow, until the night brings me to you again. It is a half life, my half without you, and it is something, but it will never be everything until you are with me, once again.

You are the breath of my soul, my love, a timeless constant... the other part of me that I only barely exist without, and I will find you again. Somehow, somewhere along this journey that I wander through, I will find you again, and when at last your arms are around me, we will never let go.

Until then, I will wait to see you in my dreams, wait until my head is deep in my pillow and I close my eyes and the darkness opens up and I see the door of our home, where you wait for me.

I love you.