Thursday, August 21, 2008

Tall Tales

It was that time again, I had to go to the doctor to make sure the engine and parts were all working like they should be.
As a rule (not quite Cardinal), unless I am -thisclose- to dying, I don't go to the doctor. There's almost nothing that aspirin or hydrogen peroxide can't fix.

My doctor led me down the hall to the exam room.

"It seems you missed this question when you filled out your paperwork. How old are you?" she asked.

I didn't miss it, and I'd hoped she would.

I lied about my age.

She wrote it down.

"How much do you weigh?" she continued her interrogation of my highly personal information.

I lied about my weight.

She wrote it down.

"How tall are you?" she was relentless.

"I'm 5'7." I didn't mind this question.

She put her paperwork down and looked at me in consternation.

"No, you're not."

"Yes, I am." I was miffed that she disagreed.

"You are not 5'7." She was adamant.

"I most certainly am too 5'7, it's on my drivers license!" I was bordering on indignant at this point.

"I am 5'8 and you are not an inch shorter than me. Stand on this thing." she was resolute now.

I stood on the thing and she measured my height.

"You are 5'5 and a half." she said smugly.

I was aghast. I truly believed I was 5'7. I'd thought that for years. It is on my drivers license.
I wept. Suddenly I was so much shorter than I thought I was. My stature had been substantially deflated, as well as my ego.

I haven't been back to see her since, but I have begun purchasing higher heels!

These shoes (and several other cute styles) can be bought here.


*~*{Sameera}*~* said...

Awww!That was a sad revelation!

If this makes you feel any better,I am just 5 :)

Loved the shoes in the pic,they are sexy!

heartinsanfrancisco said...

I understand.

My license says that I am 5'2" but I am really 5'1". It may not be much but every inch matters to me.

I never lie about my age, however. I would rather people think I look great, considering, than wonder why I look so beat up for the lesser age I claim to be.

heartinsanfrancisco said...

What do you wear with those shoes? (Not that it matters.)

Remiman said...

You are, and that's all that matters!
I used to be 5'9", I used to be younger, and I used to weigh less.
Today I'm just right. I suspect you are too... Oh, enhanced by the gorgeous shoes, of course. ;-)

Wanderlust Scarlett said...

Hey Sameera!

It WAS sad!!! But it's kind of funny now. Kind of.

Aren't those shoes great?

Hello Hearts!

Every inch does matter; and thank you for that.
My sister constantly tells me that I should say I am *older* than I am, so that people will tell me I look good for my age; but it seems to be a mental block I can't get past... 29 forever. I look like heck for 29.

Hee heee... I wear whatever I want with these shoes... ;o)

Hi there Rel!

Well, good doc... ;o) I wanted to put a disclaimer in the post just for you; felt a twinge of guilt.
You're the only doc I like.

Thank you for this perspective; perhaps I am exactly what I should be, here and now in this time... just as you are, and just as we should be.
You are such a wise man, and I admire that in you.

Scarlett & Viaggiatore

J at said...

Ugh. Funny, I lie on my license about my height, but only because I'm afraid to say I'm 5'5" and have them say, "No you're not, you're clearly not a bit over 5"4" 3/4. Silly, huh? The weight, I lie. Oh yeah. And they don't care. My mom's license said she weighed about 140 pounds less than she really did. They just don't care.

So, how do you find yourself at a doctor's office where they don't weigh you first thing? Because, wow, how awesome is that?

heartinsanfrancisco said...

I am sure that you look good for ANY age. You're older than 29? I had no idea.

Wanderlust Scarlett said...

Dear Jules...

This doc was a recommendation from a friend. And... I don't care that she didn't weigh me, I'm more sensitive about my height than my weight, and more sensitive about my age than my height.


s'okay. I'll get over it someday.

Hearts, you are my new saint of wishful thinking. It's because my back is turned in the painting... can't really see age in this avatar.
Kind of has a 'Dorian Gray' quality about it, doesn't it?
hee hee hee...

just kidding.
kind of.

Scarlett & Viaggiatore

michelle of bleeding espresso said...

Oh you're just perfect, and you know that :)

I laugh b/c when I tell officials (ID, doc) my height, they think I'm lying...because they think I must be taller. I do have rather long legs for someone 5'2" so I guess that's the deceiving part. Sure enough, though, when I'm measured, I'm 5'2". Every time.

Except for my Italian ID, she wouldn't even measure me--just eyeballed what she thought I was. LOVE Italy (although I'm glad weight isn't on the ID!) ;)

Wanderlust Scarlett said...

My dear Michelle,

You are so sweet! I laugh at the ways of the Italians that you so often describe; such a funny place. If ever I need an Italian ID, I will swear to being 5'7 then.
Between Sameera being 5 feet, and you at 5'2, things around here will always be exciting; they say that dynamite comes in small packages, and it's said because it is truth!

Scarlett & Viaggiatore

Kay said...

This made me smile - and I love those red shoes!!! I like that the doctor only found you out on one thing - and that it was the very thing you believed you'd told the truth about - oh yes - irony indeed!

Wanderlust Scarlett said...

Hi Kay!

Irony is the spice of my life.
I say it all the time, because it is soooooooooo true.
Glad to see you here!

Scarlett & Viaggiatore