Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Cardinal Rules III

It has come to my attention that we need to review the rules.

Not regular rules, which are meant to be bent, broken, twisted and otherwise tossed aside with scandalous disregard, but Cardinal Rules. Guidelines and standards by which we live, and which are never, ever broken.

In order to provide an all encompassing and comprehensive list, I have requested the assistance of four incomparable women who are wise, witty, experienced, strong, open minded and walk through each day with humor and a good woman's grace.

Welcome to Minx of The Inner Minx, Sognatrice of Bleeding Espresso, Heart of Guilty With an Explanation, and Vanilla of Absolute Vanilla. Thank you for your assistance ladies, I couldn't have designed a better team to produce these essential life rules.

We will feature each ladies Cardinal Rules for one day this week.

Cardinal Rules

Minx's Cardinal Rules

1. The biggest wardrobe is ours by right. You can have the small one in the spare bedroom and the old chest of drawers in the garage.

2. Supportive undergarments are never talked about in public and we don't own any anyway. The one you might have seen belongs to a fat friend.

3. Shoes are bought in bulk, it is the law.

4. We reserve the right to hate something once we get it home and can store it in your (small) wardrobe for the next five years.

5. Mirrors lie all the time but you are expected to tell the truth!

6. New boots always come with a free pair of jeans, a new top, a scarf and that lovely jacket that you've had your eye on for ages.

7. A coat is never bought to keep the rain off. We have cars for that.

8. Our bum's never look big in anything, but the bum walking down the street in front of us is allowed to be huge, absolutely huge.

9. A nod from behind the paper is not the answer we are looking for when we have inquired whether we look okay. "You look nice" is enough to send us running for a change of clothes.

10. It is perfectly acceptable to wear your best t-shirt to bed and to drop chocolate pudding all over it but unless you have a death wish don't ever put any of our clothes on - ever.

11. Female underwear is made to fall apart after six washes - it is a design fault.

12. "No, of course it's not new. I bought it in the sale last year" is always the gospel truth. Would I lie to you?


______________________________________

Thank you so very much, Miss Minx! What a fabulous list!
Words to live by, unquestionably.
Come back tomorrow for Sognatrice's Cardinal Rules!

5 comments:

heartinsanfrancisco said...

I am so happy to know that shoes must be bought in bulk. As God is my witness, I will never break that particular law again.

michelle of bleeding espresso said...

These are *fabulous*, especially the first one :)

Wanderlust Scarlett said...

Hearts,

Ain't that the truth? I'll be more careful of that one in the future too...
;o)


Michelle,

Aren't they fun? Minx did SUCH a great job!
I laughed all the way through the list, and all of it is absolutely true!


Scarlett & Viaggiatore

*~*{Sameera}*~* said...

Made me :)

I should get my guy to read this! :P

Wanderlust Scarlett said...

Sameera,

All guys should read this list. It should be a prerequisite before any relationship!
HA ha ha...


Scarlett & Viaggiatore