Friday, May 4, 2007

What goes around....

Having been recently inspired... or compelled, as it were, I am beginning the blog with this insight that filtered through the haze of the day to permanently and resolutely implant itself on my forehead.
En route to my employ this morning, I wallowed in a moment of tired impatience and annoyance, and I carelessly said something rude to a passing motorist that went unheard by them... but as it escaped my lips, a realization struck me dumb and I was dumbfounded.
I'd been unkind. Unnecessarily unkind. Mean, actually. There was no reason, no justification, no way to unsay it... to make it right. They had not heard... thank GOD they had not heard. But if this random person were standing before me, looking into my eyes, could I say that again? To their face? Could I speak an utterance of wickedness and know that the breath of it would touch them?
I would never do that. In my soul, as deep as I can feel, I know that it's wrong... that compassion, forgiveness, and LOVE... more than anything, are what connects each of us to every other one of us. It's what binds us together and makes us one... humankind. It is no other force, save love.
And I'd weakened it. I'd made less of myself, not the driver who was oblivious to my offhanded insult. I'd fallen below my own standards... and the Golden Rule... remember that? Treat others as you'd have them treat you.
I asked a ten-fold blessing on the carefree wanderer and forgiveness for myself... and then karma came and bit my heart.
Whilst sitting at my desk later today, an old woman in purple... bedecked with flowers, came into my office and sat before me. Her countenance was crestfallen, dejected.... sad. I offered her a candy and an ear to listen, and she told me she had a problem with directions and frequently found herself lost... "ah... yes," I said. "I understand what you mean.... I get lost in my own kitchen..." but she only looked up with a half-smile wreathed in disappointment.
She said that she had slowed down to try to find my office, to look at signs and addresses... to find her way. Someone behind her got angry with her for slowing down and honked and yelled at her... flipped her off... and she sat sadly at my desk, hands folded in her lap, brows knit with consternation... not understanding why or how people could be this way. I thought about the cold comment I'd made earlier this morning to some unaware soul... and saw the irony staring back at me like a cruel reflection I could not turn away from.
I cheered her up... I desperately wanted to. She wound up leaving with a bounce in her step, a grin on her lovely face, and a call over her shoulder to me that she'd been rejuvenated. I'd been forgiven. Touched by grace, and the opportunity to make right what I'd twisted up early in the day.
I drove with extra kindness... benevolent compassion and humble care the rest of the day... and I will remember this lady... Lilac, we'll call her, whenever I feel the thorns of the day beginning to press into my side... and I will smile and turn the other cheek.

I will ask you to do the same.... there's already so much hate and anger in the world. Don't contribute. Return it with love in many small ways, every day, and maybe... we can turn it all around.

Love, Scarlett

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